The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection
by TheWritingMustache
Summary: No one was prepared for the Green Flu, and the horrors that it brought. A lone survivor has taken it upon herself to record her encounters with the Infected, with a little help, of course. Results may vary. HIATUS
1. A is for Accident

Hello Fanfiction! After about what...two years or so of not posting anything, I have returned to tell you the tale of a lone survivor living life in the zombie filled world of Left 4 Dead. Original, isn't it? This will start out as a classic fic, survivor runs around and meets a special infected, yadda yadda yadda. But hopefully, I can try and put my own little twist on the story. Let's see how that will work out.

Disclaimer: I do not own L4D. Just my own characters.

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 1: A is for Accident

_It all started with an accident. At least, that's people wanted to think. Some wanted to believe it was just a small scale accident that would get picked up and thrown in the trash. Others thought it was something totally different. Either way, after the first outbreak of the Green Flu, things went to hell...fast. Anything after that could be accidental or intentional. _

_In a world ruled by zombies, accidents will occur. So don't do anything stupid. Life has become more fragile than ever imagined._

**Two weeks after first infection**

Traversing the city late at night has always been risky business, especially for young women. They could be mugged, kidnapped, raped, even murdered. Possibly even all four. But since the Infection broke out, that would be the least of anyone's worries. Now it was all about running and hiding, avoiding anything that moved or made a sound. It was a life or death situation, every little move made affected survival.

When it first happened, Divine practically threw a party, knowing that her longest belief had finally come true. _Zombies had finally invaded!_ They weren't real zombies, just very sick people who had a new homicidal urges. But why correct her? After about three days, there was nobody left to tell her otherwise. She did what any smart person would have done; she went out and got herself a gun. Taking the first step outside was the hard part. Divine knew she'd have to leave her apartment eventually, yet she wasn't willing to immediately risk it. Instead, she sat insider her room, guarding the door and windows, trying to be quieter than a mouse.

Anything that needed actual cooking was thrown out, couldn't risk attracting unwanted attention. So when the safe food had run out, she packed a small bag, grabbed her bat and the biggest pan she had off the stove, and ventured out into the wild. It was fun at first, feeling a person's head cave in, hearing the whack of her bat against their skull. The fun ended quickly, the farther she went on, the harder things became. Every little movement or sound made could easily call a horde of these...creatures. The bigger the sound, the worst it was for her. Light was okay, so long as she didn't shine it in someone's face.

But Divine quickly found out the trouble with lights. A girl sitting in a corner, barley clothed and crying her eyes out. Divine tried to help, racing over to the girl's side. She didn't notice the bodies slumped against the floor, the huge gashes in their stomachs. As soon as the light hit the girl's face, she instantly changed. Divine found herself running like hell, her screams mixing with the terrible cries of the weeping girl's. She didn't know how long the chase lasted; this zombie-girl was persistent. Somehow she got away, somehow made it to safety. The steel red doors helped out a bunch. She managed to run in and close the door behind her, and the weeping girl thumped into it, attempting a break in. Eventually she stopped, and Divine could hear the girl crying again.

That was her first encounter with the Special Infected. Over the next few days of slinking around the city, Divine had encountered much more than the weeping girl. The normal ones looked like regular people, except they moped around and threw up their insides. There was one that could jump from over a mile, a single bound and their prey was caught and killed. Divine knew a friend of hers would be impressed by such a feat, the jumper wasn't trying to kill her. If anything, running from _that_ was more interesting than running from the weeping girl. It could scale tall buildings, leap down like a wild cat, and would stop at nothing to catch its next meal. Eventually, she managed to sneak attack it by bashing her bat on its head as it turned the corner to look for her. It was just a man in a hoodie. Just some random dude...in a freaking hoodie! But he was definitely something to fear.

Her next encounter with a Special was the one who could snare someone with a tentacle, from his mouth. When Divine shot him, a cloud of smoke arose, blinding her and sending her into a coughing fit. Once it had passed, she got a better look. Various boils and lumps covered his arms and face, spores still floating around them. The tentacle from his mouth was actually his tongue, and Divine had the guts to pull at it, wondering how long it was. To put it simply, it took a while. The tongue was a solid mass of muscle, able to bind and constrict its prey, much like a snake. Yet, it was easily breakable, like a lizard's tail. All because of a stupid flu. _This was no flu._

Finally, Divine had the misfortune of meeting up with the puker. The fat man that threw up on his victim's, calling in the regulars. She had watched him from afar, sniping him from a distance. They were like balloons, get a sharp point and they explode. Except these balloons exploded blood, guts, and puke. She knew getting near one would be a very, very bad idea. This was why Divine nearly wet herself when she rounded the corner and saw him standing there. She could hear him gurgling, but didn't seem to notice how loud they were getting until he was right there. Somehow, they came to a stand-off. He prepared to puke, and she raised her gun, finger ready at the trigger.

"Do it and I fucking shoot" she warned, not sure if he understood. Her words may have been lost to him, but the sight of her rifle made him pause. The puker swallowed his own bile, and tried to inch his way through. She followed. They reversed positions, so that they were on opposite sides of each other. Divine slowly backed away down her original path, the puker doing the same. His gurgling never ceased, but he made no move to attack. Her first encounter with the fat man, and she was going to live! Finally, a mutual understanding between her and the zombies. They were like bees, you don't bother them and they won't bother you. How _swell _this was turning out, the zombie apocalypse could be conquered. She'd be a hero, a star, the greatest survivor of all ti-

A piercing scream sounded off, echoing around the area. Startled, Divine's finger clenched down on the trigger, and BOOM, the puker was gone. Cursing loudly, she turned and ran, bile covering her front side. She could hear them, the horde was coming! The first set of zombies met her, and she greeted them with a couple bullets each. So much for living through the day and becoming a fucking hero. If she lived, she was so finding a working shower. If she died...well, it was better not to think that. Divine had to find a safe room, fast. Her bullets were disappearing fast, and she knew that her baseball bat couldn't be relied on for long. Then she saw it, right next to the path that the zombies were taking. She aimed, fired, and the propane gas can blow up, killing anybody near it.

That did the trick, for little zombies came afterwords. Divine took a breather, the adrenaline slowly draining out of her system. How long would this all go on? How long until there were no more uninfected people? So far, she had encountered infected, but not uninfected. Real people didn't seem to exist anymore. They were probably dead, or got help from the CEDA. Pfft, the CEDA, fuck them. She saw signs of the CEDA everywhere, but the CEDA themselves were nowhere to be seen. They were gone, and they obviously weren't coming back. Anyone else left in the city had been left for dead, including her. This meant she'd have to get out of town herself. So be it then! The hard part was actually finding a safe route out.

It felt safer to travel by day, that's when the least amount of infected were about. She tried to find shelter at night, but it was hard finding a place that wasn't totally overrun. And judging by the lengthen shadows among the alleyways; she really needed to find a safe room. Fast. Crazy shit went down after the sun did, and Divine knew she didn't want to be around to see it. Lately, she had been hearing a loud roaring sound in the area, followed by mini-earthquakes. Something was out there, something really big. This wasn't California where earthquakes were the norm. The flu had created a much deadlier being, one that even scared the regulars. But what? She hoped she would never find out.

Night was falling faster, and still no end to the alleys, no red doors in sight. Left, right, left, left, right, another right. It felt like Pac-Man, with zombies instead of ghosts. Turn the corner, a crudely drawn red house drawn on the wall. Yes, at last! She was almost there! Those spray painted houses always meant a safe room was nearby. Thank God, the sun was practically gone by this time. She raced forward, a sense of hope and accomplishment pulsing through her. Almost there, almost there, almost-got caught. Stopping dead, Divine managed to save herself from stepping into a bear trap. Why the hell would anyone put bear traps in front of a goddamn safe room? Apparently the last guy to come through here thought it was a fantastic idea, because traps littered the ground, some open, some occupied with the dead bodies of the infected. And one was still moving.

His leg was caught, the teeth clamped firmly into his pant leg. He must have given up trying to escape, for he just sat there and growled at the contraption, his claws useless against the steel holding him. After a moment, he looked up at her, face half-concealed by his hood. As soon as he looked at her, his growls turned to whimpers, and she was sure he was staring at the gun in her hands. _'Poor jumper'_ she thought, eyeing him over. _'Trapped and waiting for death...oh God...'_. What could she do? Shoot him? Put an end to his misery? No...no, couldn't do that. She believed that someone should go down fighting, not trapped and defenseless. Whoever attacks a defenseless man is a coward, and should be the ones to die.

"Can't believe I'm doing this..." Divine muttered, tiptoeing towards him. His whimpers increased, and he tried to hide himself inside his hood. Closer now, she could see the giant Z sewn into his hood, turned red from all the blood. Z...she wondered what it stood for. His name? A brand of clothing? What? _'That's right...he was human once. He was somebody once..but now?'_. Divine crouched down next to him, putting her rifle down.

"It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna help" she reassured, gently placing her hands down on his ensnared leg. He peaked out at her, growls mixing with whimpers. "It's okay, it's okay" she repeated, giving experimental tugs at the trap. They moved a little, but not enough to free his entire leg. She needed more strength, something else to replace his leg. But what? A thought sprung to her mind, and she snatched up her rifle. The jumper began to panic, thrashing around, trying to get away from it. "Hold still!" Divine ordered, placing the barrel right at the spring, pointing the tip away from him. She fired, then fired again. The spring looked weaken, and she pulled at it again. It moved much easier now, though still not enough to fully free him. "Okay, new plan. When I tell you, I want you to bring your leg up. I'll open it and stick my gun in there. Be fast, cause I don't know how long we'll get before it closes. Got it?" she asked, staring straight in the face. He gave no indication that he understood, not even a growl or a whimper. Oh, whatever.

"Alright ready? And...now!" she shouted, prying the jaws open and worming the rifle into place. His leg wretched free of its prison, and the jaws clamped down on her gun. Well, the safe room usually had a shotgun lying around, so she could always get a new one. The jumper sat up, and tried to do what he did best: jump. But he stumbled instead, letting out a screech of frustration. "Let me fix you!" Divine said, taking off her pack to rummage around for medical supplies. He ignored her, and tried again, this time coming dangerously close to another bear trap. "Stop moving, dammit!" she ordered, grabbing his good leg and pulling him closer. Ignoring his threatening growls, she tore off the damaged part of pant leg, revealing his wounds. Punctures marks dotted his leg, ending close to the ankle.

Divine cleaned it the best she could wiping away blood and spraying on disinfectant. It must have stung, for the jumped let out a howl of displeasure, attempting to break away from her. She held him down, holding on tightly to his legs. "Stop. Fucking. Moving" she growled at him. He stopped, looking at her with a small look of surprise. Oh, so now he listens! Once the jumper had stilled, she wrapped up his leg in some gauze, knotting the end to keep it from unraveling. "There, all better" Divine declared, letting him go. He carefully retracted his legs towards his body, rolling into a crouched position, resting on the balls of his feet. They sat there, staring at each other. Now what? He could probably kill her right there and then. Save for her bat, Divine was practically weaponless; her gun had replaced the jumper's leg in the bear trap. After several minutes of silence, Divine stood up, the jumper following suit.

It was weird seeing one standing. They usually crawled around, and were rarely seen standing normally. Though a little hunched over, the jumper was surprisingly tall, a few inches above her. Silence overtook them once more, Divine studying him. If it wasn't for the blood all over his clothes and his paled skin, the jumper easily could have been a normal person. Just one of those dudes who wore hoodies all the time, except this guy had duct tape on his sleeves. Oh, to cut down on wind resistances of course, like most parkourist do. Parkour...that totally made sense! It must have been why his kind was so adept to jumping and landing. That's all they ever did when they were healthy. Just like a good friend of her's did back in high school. Would that mean if he got sick, he too would become a jumper as well? Interesting possibility.

Still, she wondered what the Z meant on his hood. It probably wasn't important, she needed to get inside. Been exposed for far too long, no real weapon to speak of.

"Well...take care of yourself, I guess. Stay out of bear traps" she advised, moving away towards the safe room. She picked her way through the traps, successfully making it without any injury. Looking back, she saw the jumper still standing there. "Going somewhere?" she asked, not sure why he hadn't moved. As if to answer her question, he crouched down, leapt, and a second later, he landed right next to her. Divine jumped back in surprise, not expecting such swiftness from him, especially with his injured leg. The infected were fucking amazing.

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><p>Divine pried the door open, peering inside to make sure nothing was within the confines of the safe room. She stepped inside, looking for the basics. Everything seemed to be there, except for...Looking over her shoulder, she could see the jumper crouched just outside, unsure of what to do with himself. Divine let out a exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes. "Get in already" she growled, knowing that would get the message across . He hesitated, but got over it and crawled inside. Divine shut the door behind him.<p>

The day's events finally caught up to her, and she flopped down on a sleeping bag, a sigh of relief escaping from her lips. Oh at last! She could sleep for days, maybe weeks. It always felt so refreshing, so rejuvenating being able to lie down like this. Running from a horde took a lot of energy, energy she no longer had. Divine buried her face into the bag, content with just lying on top of it instead of snuggling up inside it. A shadow suddenly loomed over her, reminding the girl that she wasn't alone this time.

"Go away, I'm tired" Divine mumbled, curling up into a ball. The jumper leaned down to sniff at her face, and nudged her with his hand. She batted him away, just wanting sleep to overtake her. "Go to sleep or something, just leave me alone!" she whined. He responded with a growl, but moved away. Then came back to lie down next to her, his back pressing up against hers. Heat radiated off him, and Divine found herself trying to get closer to him. It was like lying next to a furnace, one that smelled like dried blood and sweat. Right now, Divine could care less. He was warm, and hadn't killed her yet. What's with him? Was he thanking her somehow? You let me live, so now I let you live? That was a possible chance, but Divine was too tired to think any more of it.

"Don't eat me...okay? Or else...I'd have...to kill..."

She drifted off into sleep, her eyes closing shut, her lips barley forming the rest of the sentence. A wave of darkness crashed in, and the world was gone to her.

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><p>Surprise, surprise, she lived through the night. Whoever invented these safe rooms were very generous, for there was plenty of food rations to feed a person for a month or two. The jumper wasn't all that picky about what he ate, in fact he downed two rations before Divine had even gotten halfway through her first one. "Slow down, Tiger, or else you'll choke" she chuckled, watching him take down another one. His table manners were apparently gone. He savagely ripped open the packages, and licked up everything he could get into his mouth. Probably didn't taste as good without any blood. Again, her eyes drifted over that Z, that one little letter that existed simply to mock her. Dammit to hell, that letter.<p>

"What does it stand for anyway?" Divine asked aloud, getting a confused look in return. "You know…the Z...what's it stand for?" she asked again, tapping her head. Another confused look and a head turned to the side. "Is it for your name?". He scratched his neck. "I think it is" she concluded as the jumper went back to devouring the rations. "Is it...Zeus?". No answer. "Zed? Zipper? Zapp Brannigan?" she suggested, sounding a tad more excited with the last name. Still no answer. Then again, who would name their kid Zipper or Zapp? "Well crap, the only other name I can think of is Zachary" Divine sighed. The jumper's head snapped up at that word, looking eager. "Zachary?" she repeated, watching him get more attentive. A smile spread across her face, excitement coursing through her. "Zach. Zachary~" she sang, making him squirm a bit. He remembered his name...there was a bit of humanity left in him! So then...there was a possible chance that this infection could be cured, hopefully. No one has yet to discover the cure for cancer, but that didn't mean the Green Flu would be just as difficult. Perhaps over infected could be helped as well. It was worth a shot.

"Hey Zach, wanna help me with a little science project? You keep me safe from other infected, and I promise not to shoot you! What do ya say?" Divine asked. Zachary only stared at her, again not understanding her proposition. "Hey man, you fucking owe me. I saved your damn life, so pay up" she growled, now fully knowing that would be the only way to make him listen to her. He still said nothing, and probably would have continued to be silent, if not for the sudden growl that sounded just outside the door. He screamed at it, hissing at whatever lay outside. Another jumper, most likely. Divine did see them more often than the others, though they weren't very common during the day.

Rolling her eyes, Divine snatched up a shotgun and walked over to the door, poking the gun's barrel through the steel bars. Two short blasts later, the other jumper lied dead in a bloodied heap. She pulled back, then open the door to allow Zachary to investigate for himself. He sniffed the dead body, growling and swiping at him. "He's not gonna fight back you know" she told him, leaning against the doorway. The hooded infected continued to prod at his fallen brethren, and it was several minutes before he deemed the other infected truly dead. Zachary crawled back inside the room to continue eating away at the food. Divine closed the door before re-joining him.

The infected were so weird.

_While traversing through an infected area, accidents can happen at every turn. It is best to proceed with extreme caution, and be sure to look for early signs of trouble. Not everyone can escape such dastardly foes such as the ones encountered. Watch your lights, watch your guns, watch out for everything. Beware the girls who cry, keep an ear open for any signs of a Special nearby. Don't go looking for trouble. And if you hear a mighty roar, and the feel the ground begin to quake, hide. Don't run, just hide and hope it goes away. People die when they run from such things. _

_If it's super dangerous, don't risk it._

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><p>It was rushed, I agree. Don't worry, I'm working on it. I haven't written much of anything in the past...ever, so my story writing skills may be a little rusty here and there. So, leave a review, tell me what I need to improve on (which will probably be a lot), and tell me what you think so far. <em><br>_


	2. B is for Boomer

Hey there Fan Fic, I'm back with the second chapter after like...a month or two. Yeah, two months. Sorry for the delay, I finally found time to actually sit down and write out a chapter. Summer vacation is coming up soon, so hopefully I'll get out more chapters during that time. And now, enjoy the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own L4D. Just my OCs

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 2: B is for Boomer

_Beware of Boomers. The pukers, the gurgling fat man. He's a greater danger than he looks, so don't be fooled by their somewhat innocent looks. The puke of a Boomer does no harm to its victim, but the odor will attract other zombies towards you. Boomers are to be shot on sight, but from a safe distance. When shot, you learn the real reason as to how they got their names._

**Three weeks after first infection**

Was the blanket always this heavy? Divine was awake before her eyes were open, trying her best to hold on to the last bit of sleep. One of the first things that the girl had noticed was the sudden weight of the blanket she had covered herself up in last night. Her face was plastered into the pillow, and she found that sitting up was proving to be quite difficult. Something was on her, restricting movement and snoring in her ear. Oh, he did it again.

"Zachary" Divine growled at the Hunter, an annoyed look crossing her face. He didn't give any sign that he heard her, and continued to sleep upon her back. It was frightening the first time he did this, the second was just plain weird. The third time had become rather bothersome, and now the fourth time was really, really annoying. "Dude, I've told you before. I'm not your damn teddy bear" Divine continued, trying to turn her head to glare at him. Sure, the extra warmth was welcoming, but having a hundred pound infected man on her back wasn't too comfortable.

It had been exactly one week since she met him in that alleyway full of bear traps. Since then, his leg had recovered at an astonishing rate, and he easily could have killed her, or run away. Instead, Zachary followed her around the city, proving to be a helpful watchdog, and some good company. The girl wouldn't deny she liked having him around. She had someone to talk to, someone to experience this whole crazy ordeal with her. Sure, he didn't understand half the crap she talked about, or fully understood the situation they were in. But company was company, even if it meant his new instincts would kick in from time to time.

His behavior was strange, to say the least, and it was unclear if that was normal for his kind of Infected or not. Divine figured she would find out eventually, for the topic of Hunters could not be put aside forever. As of now, she planned to gather intel on the puking fat men, or the Boomers, as the others referred to them as. It was a Boomer that caused the meeting of woman and Hunter, so it only seemed right to discover what lied under the fat and beyond the bile. She figured if anyone could track one down, it would be the hooded body slumbering on top of her.

"Alright, I'm giving you till three to get off me. Okay?" Divine warned, prepping herself for the removal that would soon occur. Zachary grumbled in her ear, but didn't move away. "Ready? One" she began counting. The Hunter buried his face into her shoulders, a grumble rising in his throat.

"...Nnnooo…" Zachary groaned.

"Two"

A deep, throaty growl sounded in her ears, the kind that would normally make anyone freeze in their tracks. Fuck him. "Three!" Divine cried, pushing off the mattress and rolling to the floor, taking the Hunter with her. They tumbled to the ground, and Divine tried crawl away, but failed when she was flipped onto her back, Zachary's face snarling in hers. He screamed at her furiously, sharp teeth dangerously close to biting her face off. "Well, aren't you a morning person" Divine commented sarcastically. But the close contact made her uncomfortable as the reminder of what her new "friend" was. Luckily, she had quickly learned his weaknesses and didn't hesitate to use them. Divine shot a hand up, fingers outstretched to take a grab at the Hunter's hood. He jumped back whining, his clawed hands pulling the hood farther down his face.

Divine picked herself up, smirking the whole time. "I didn't even touch it" she teased, grinning as Zachary looked up to glare at her. He could be so sensitive sometimes. The girl walked over to the food boxes and pulled out a ration. She tossed it over to him before picking one out for herself. Breakfast time! After all, they would need their strength to go running around looking for big, fat guys. As Zachary tore into his food, Divine took time to take notes. Notes were the writing on the walls, the messages left behind by other survivors. Her eyes drifted over them, wanting to take in all information she could before they left.

**We're all gonna die! Repent! Repent!**

**Of course we are, there are fucking zombies, man!**

**No, they're not! They move too fast, and don't eat brains!**

**That's only in movies, dumbass. **

**They must be aliens, then!**

**Bullshit.**

**Where's CEDA? Why aren't they helping us?**

**CEDA's gone bust. We're on our own now.**

**THE YANKEES SUCK!**

**Beware of Hunters!**

**Hunters? You mean them hoodies guys?**

**I saw one jump a guy from across the street!**

**I saw one jump down from a thirty floor building!**

**Liars! There's no fucking way!**

**Your mom was no fucking way!**

**Watch out for them grabbing dudes, they'll get ya from sky!**

**Smokers don't come from the sky, nimrod. They sit on buildings and shit.**

**Like Batman?**

Divine chuckled to herself, amused by the constant bickering of others. But the survivors always left behind new terms, new info, and general news about the world. Three nights ago, that was how she learned the official name for Boomers. Last night, the official name for Hunters and Smokers. They talked about the zombies, CEDA, the army, and just silly little things in generals. Usually there was at least one message to loved ones, directions on where to go or just to let their family know they were still alive. She was beginning to doubt whether or not any of them were still kicking. Though, constant gun fire in the distance told her otherwise. To find any of them would be miracle, for there was always safety in numbers. But that would mean leaving behind Zachary and she didn't want to abandon him after all this time. A week was long enough to forge some sort of friendship. At least for her, anyway.

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><p>Zachary reminded her of a bloodhound with his nose to the ground, lifting it occasionally to catch a scent in the air. Divine trailed after him, assault rifle in hand, ready to shoot whatever decided to bother them. So far they had mostly encountered Commons and one other Hunter, who Zachary quickly dealt with on his own. It was mostly a screaming match, with a few swipes that were exchanged, so nothing serious really happened. But Divine got good data on Hunter pissing matches, and was able to jot a few notes down before the other Infected took off. It dawned on her a few minutes later that Zachary could have asked the Hunter if he had seen any Boomers around, and where they could find one. She was still kicking herself for that.<p>

Their search wasn't getting very far, and she worried that they would be out here all day searching for a fat thing. Suddenly, her Hunter froze in his tracks, head lifted to the sky, nostrils flaring. Bingo. "Which way, boy?" Divine asked excitedly, her heart thumping against her ribcage. At last, a Boomer scent! Zachary jumped to a wall, ricocheting off to the next. She ran after him on the ground, slowly realizing she'd never be able to actually keep up with him. The Hunter disappeared over a rooftop, making the girl lose sight of him.

His head popped over a few seconds later, looking down at her expectantly. "The hell you looking at me for? You know I can't get up there myself!" she shouted up at him. She could have sworn she saw Zachary roll his eyes at her, and wondered if she could get in a good headshot from here. The Hunter bounced back down to her, a scowl upon his face. "Don't give me that look. Not all of us were blessed with amazing zombie abilities like yours" she huffed. "Why don't you just go back up and tell me when the Boomer gets closer? Or go after it or something?" the girl suggested to him. He stared at her as if she was stupid, or at least that's what it looked like to her.

They would have been sitting there staring at each other all day; if not for the loud groaning sound that echoed from the alley. Their heads snapped towards the sound, and the Boomer waddled out from the shadows. Divine shot him, causing them to be sprayed with blood and bile. "Sorry…..force of habit..." she apologized, wiping puke from her face. Zachary let out an annoyed huff in response. "We should probably run now, huh?" Divine asked, glancing towards him. He nodded, and the two took off down the street. The Infected poured out of buildings and alleys, all with the intent to get themselves of a piece of bile.

Divine shot at them, cursing loudly every time one got too close, and she had to bat them away. Zachary slashed at them, his claws easily ripping through flesh and bones. The duo managed to work their way down the block, refusing to stop until the others did. They finally stopped coming, probably deeming the fading smell of bile not worth chasing any longer. Which suited the pair just fine, as they now had tattered and dirty clothes. Zachary's sweatshirt had all sorts of stains on it, so he obviously didn't mind something new dirtying it further. Divine, on the other hand, strove for some cleanliness among the death and gore she had to live through. Finding clean clothing was a priority in the new zombie infested world. It was just another fine example of all the things people had taken for granted before the Infection hit. Safety didn't mean shit anymore, fresh food was hard to come by, basic supplies were essential, and a warm bed to sleep in had become a fantasy.

And thus, a new search began.

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><p>The glass had shattered, providing an easier access than opening the door itself. Trash littered the ground of the convenience store, and most everything that was once on the shelves was now either ripped open or covered in flies, or still wrapped up in their packages, waiting to be eaten. The acrid smell of smoke filled the air, but it was ignored for the quest of food. Divine headed straight for the candy aisle, opening up her pack and dumping chocolate bars in. She grabbed small bags of chips, and was lucky enough to find some mini doughnuts, still in perfect condition. Soda bottles, although cold, sat in the freezers, and she pulled out a Coke to enjoy. The zombie apocalypse, one big excuse to eat nothing but crap, and then go running afterwards. Too bad all the obese people of the world went first, or turned into Boomers.<p>

Out of habit, and the need to put some sane routine in an insane world, Divine brought the food to the counter, as if to pay for them and not get arrested for shoplifting. A welcoming sight greeted her behind the counter. The store owner had possibly survived, as they were reading the newspaper while waiting for customers. At least, that's what it seemed like. The smell of smoke was overpowering, threatening to dominate her lungs and choke out all the oxygen. "Afternoon, my good sir. And what shall today's total be?" Divine asked, in a mocking British accent. A cough sounded from behind the newspaper.

"We're having a special sale. Everything's free!" they said before going into a coughing fit.

"Uh, you need a drink or something?" she asked, already guessing the answer.

"Ain't gonna do much for me, girl. So you better save it for yourself" came the reply. She nodded, unscrewing the cap of her bottle and taking a swig of soda. Silence reigned over the shop, no one making a sound, save for the holder of the newspaper who would occasionally cough, and Zachary, his small growls never ceasing as he tore into packages and ate whatever he could fit in his mouth.

"Zachary, don't go eating all that junk. You'll get a stomachache" Divine scolded, rolling her eyes as the Hunter made a bigger mess of things. The newspaper holder chuckled, turning a page of the paper. Divine glanced back over at them, taking a few seconds to observe their gracious host. "Can you even read?" she inquired, resting her elbows on the counter and placing her chin in her hands.

"Course I can! What makes you say that?"

"Well, for starters, you're holding the paper upside down. And it's in Spanish" Divine pointed out. The jig was up, judging by the sigh that came from the other side of the paper. "Oh, don't feel bad. I usually get the paper for the comics" she added, trying to sound cheerful. The newspaper flipped down, and she finally came face to face with the Smoker she had been talking to. Like his brethren, the left side of his face was covered in lumps and various boils that trailed down to his next. Similar lumps dotted his arms and onto his hands. Atop his head was once straw colored hair that had long since dirtied up, as it was now a more sickly green color. A cigarette hung from his mouth, but would slide down his chin to reveal his long, purple tongue. Divine smiled at him, happy to find another Infected that had yet to bite her face off. "Good morning sunshine, the earth says hello!" she greeted the Smoker with a wave of her hands. A smirk appeared on the Smoker's face, and he dropped his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. His long appendage was truly fascinating, acting as a third hand. Like how a monkey used its tail for grabbing onto branches and hanging from there. Except in this case, the extra hand came from the other side of the body.

"Well, hello to you too" the Smoker said back, his tongue retracting back into his mouth when he spoke. Oh yes, gathering research on Smokers were going to be so much fun. She still needed to find a living Boomer, though. "You're a rare sight around here, girl. I thought all the survivors escaped, or died" he continued, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigs. He tapped one up, and then pulled it out with his handy third hand.

"Not all of them, I guess. Not sure if I should consider myself lucky not" she replied with a shrug. The girl opened her mouth to say more, but Zachary beat her to the punch. The Hunter was letting out a series of short growls and squeals, and look very jittery. Even from where she stood, Divine could see that the Infected was experiencing a sugar high. Hunters were already bouncy people; having such a high amount of sugar in their bloodstream probably didn't help. Before they knew it, he was bouncing around the store, knocking over shelves and sending items to the floor.

This Divine and the Smoker found comical, as they burst into laughter at the sight of Zachary rocketing around the room. The Smoker's laughing abruptly ended when he once again, went into a coughing fit, leaving him gasping and wheezing for air afterwards, while trying to giggle at the same time. At that point, Divine figured it would be best to calm the other Infected down before he broke something else, or his own body. She made a move to catch him but a rough hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She gave the Smoker a quizzical look, wondering why he stopped her.

"Claws" he wheezed, then flexed his own fingers for emphasis. She nodded in understanding, now grateful he stopped her. Of course, what sane person would go and try to get a deranged Hunter to sit still? It was suicide, and she didn't even realize it.

"Thanks, the would have been bad"

"Don't mention it. It's a been a rough day"

"Oh, you don't know the half of it"

* * *

><p>It was once a dark brown color, but the darkness had faded and a hole was worn on one side. The wallet was clearly well used, but well taken care of. Divine turned it over in her hands as if she was trying to identify the person that had once used this so often.<p>

"Go on, open it up. Read it for me" the Smoker commanded, curiosity etched across his face. With saying a world, the girl pulled it open, and began removing its contents. Inside were a receipt, twenty dollars, and some business cards. She pulled out credit and debit cards, and even a crumpled up movie ticket. The real prize was the driver license she slipped out. And for the first time, Divine saw the real man behind the boils and tongue. She was right, he had been a blonde. He once had blue eyes, and his skin looked healthier than it did now. He was at least six feet, but she was guessing he grew a couple more inches, since all the Smokers she had seen easily towered over all the other infected. His name stung at her heart though. He shared it with beloved friend of hers, but she managed to hold back tears.

She put everything back in order, wondering why he would still have this. Perhaps….perhaps some bit of humanity really did reside in the Infected. Material objects found in their pockets were suddenly precious; as it was their only connection to a time they had since forgotten. The girl gently placed the wallet into the Smoker's hand, who merely shoved back into his pocket. "Well, what did it say?" he demanded, desperation in his voice. Divine looked up at him and smiled.

"Your twenty-three years old, you had blue eyes, and your name is Ryan" she informed him, watching his single eye widen. Ryan leaned back in his chair, blinking rapidly as if trying to recall of memories of his previous life. "Does that sound familiar to you? Ryan?" Divine asked him, wondering if he would be the same as Zachary. The Smoker shook his head, tongue wiggling as he did. Oh, well, it was a bit of a long shot. It wasn't the same for everyone, she supposed. Something bumped into her leg, and a second later, Zachary stood next to her, bracing himself against the counter for support. The Hunter leaned forward to take a sniff at Ryan, who simply sat and watched. Ryan growled himself, making odd, half-choked noises from his mouth.

Zach leaned back a bit before replying in his own language of growls and screeches. Divine didn't dare make a sound, far too interested in trying to figure out what they were saying to each other. So the Infected could communicate with each other! Even Ryan, who could still speak properly. Their talk was hard to decipher, save for the laugh they shared. Zachary kept pointing to her, saying something that made Ryan grin. The Smoker shook his head in amusement, glancing over at her.

"Girl, you must be some kind of crazy. Boomer hunting?" he laughed.

"Yeah, it's a research project. I'm and not getting anyway so far" Divine confirmed.

"Well, why didn't you just say so? I know a guy, comes around her every once in a while. Came in and stole all the Twinkies a couple days ago. The fatass said he'd be back later for more. You could uh….talk to him about your little experiment"

"…..Ryan, you're awesome!"

"Yeah, I know" he thanked. "You guys can chill upstairs for the night. It'll be a lot safer than looking for a safe house" he offered, pointing to the roof. Divine glanced outside, surprised that shadows were creeping over the tops of buildings and around alley ways. Time sure flies when you're having fun.

"Yeah, sounds great. Beam us up, Scottie" she agreed. He most likely didn't remember where that line was from, but Ryan smiled anyway. Then he stood up, and Divine knew that six feet was utter bullshit now. The Smoker led them to a door in the back, having to duck down to avoid hitting his head. When standing, Zachary still didn't need to do that. The Hunter had dropped back down to all fours, crawling up the stairs after them. Above the store was an apartment that most likely belonged to the owner before the infection hit. The door had been ripped off its hinges, creating an ever always entrance that would needed guarding, seeing as entering and exiting the building was incredibly easy, unless the others were desperate enough to enter the domain of a Smoker. If the smell didn't keep them back, then any unlucky sucker who came in would choke on the overpowering gas clouds Ryan frequently emitted. In such close quarters, Divine had to cover her face just to breathe, yet she could still feel her eyes watering.

Once inside the apartment, the girl ran to the windows, and cracked a couple of them open. She would have to remember to close them later so that nothing could climb through later and attack them. Hunters were the main threat to anyone sitting up at great heights. From observations and experiences, Divine knew that a Hunter could easily leap upwards to make a grab at his prey. They didn't give up so easily either, as a few days beforehand, Divine got into a tug-o-war with Zachary over a fresh shirt. Several seconds later, it had a gigantic hole in its middle, and she let Zach continue to shred it while she found a different one. Hopefully, Specials didn't bother other Specials, so there was a chance Ryan's smoke would keep the Infected at bay.

"So, this is it. Bed's here, some clothes should be in the dresser, and there's a bathroom too. Don't know if the water's still running, but you can give it a shot" Ryan explained, pointing to the various objects he was describing. The mention of a bathroom with possibly running water made Divine's heart soar, and she immediately ran inside to check. Her heart nearly died of happiness as water churned out of the faucet when she turned it on. Oh, at long last, she could take a damn shower!

"I call first go! Ryan, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" she ordered, motioning to the Hunter, who was hanging his head outside the window. Ryan nodded, and moved to pull Zachary in, but stopped when the hooded Infected suddenly wretched into the alleyway below. "I told you!" Divine called out to him, then shut the door to take her well-deserved body cleansing. Boys, why don't they ever listen?

_When properly hunting for Boomers, try not be trigger-happy, as shooting your subject will do nothing for your research. However, you could always come back later to examine the carcass. More information still required._

_To be continued….._

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><p>And that's chapter two. Chapter 3 will be a continuation of chapter 2, even though it will have a different name. R&amp;R, thanks for all the favorites I've been getting,. You're a wonderful audience. Hasta la pasta!<em><br>_


	3. C is for Caution

Happy late Independence Day! I tried to get this out yesterday, but the fireworks were calling me! So here it is, chapter three! I'll try not to take too long with the next one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Left 4 Dead. Just my characters

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 3: C is for Caution

_While traversing through a zombie filled world, be incredibly cautious of where you go and what you do. If the right precautions are not taken, you will find that surviving is a lot harder than you originally thought. If you are traveling in a group, team work is key. Watch each other's backs. Don't ever get separated. It will be the death of you._

**Three weeks, one day after first infection**

"Divine! Wake up! Wake up! You just missed him! Get your ass out of bed!"

It took a few seconds to fully awaken, another few more to realize exactly what the Smoker was talking about. She shot up in bed, scrambling to get out and pull on her shoes. She cursed with every movement, lacing up her shoes and grabbing her belongings. Only a minute later was she barreling out of the store with Ryan, who led her down the street and after the Boomer's trail.

"Where's Zach?" Divine asked, seeing no sign of the Hunter.

"He went after the fatass. We can't be far behind" Ryan replied, his single eye scanning the buildings and road ahead of them. She nodded, wondering where the other Infected could be. Last night, the Hunter could bear to be separated from her for less than a minute. Ryan had to make sure he didn't tear down the door while Divine took a shower. She got jumped as soon as she opened it afterwards. Once again, she had felt the weight of a hundred pound sick guy on her, and God did he smell bad. But she wasn't confident enough to give him a bath, yet.

When settling herself in a real bed after three weeks of not being able to sleep anywhere decent enough, Zachary curled up right next to her, eventually stretching out and taking up half the bed. Which was exactly what Divine was planning to do, but knew arguing with him wouldn't solve shit. So it was a bit of a surprise he went after the Boomer himself instead of waiting for them to outside first. He could be impatient sometimes, but she worried that he would do something stupid without her. After all, it was Divine's job to be the big screw-up, not his! Though, it was awfully nice of him to take over for now.

* * *

><p><strong>[Zach's POV]<strong>

Running, running, very fast running. Jumping, climbing, smelling, searching. Must keep track of, don't lose it, don't lose it! Follow puking man, must follow must follow. She wants one, must have one. She must "research" one. Why research? What so important about research? He doesn't know, but doesn't care. His live female person must know more about the puking man. She's so curious, she must know everything! And he helps, oh he likes helping her. She only has her booming stick of death to protect her. That will not do, oh it so will not do. She has no claws, or sharp teeth. She cannot climb, or run very fast. She cannot jump very high either. Without him, she would die. But without her, we would have been dead too. So he must help her, must take care of her. She brings him food, brings him to safe nests that smell of other live persons.

Why the puking man? The puking man is smelly and loud. The stench of yesterday's puke still lingers on his clothing. Bad live female person, she was too scared. She used booming stick of death to kill puking man. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! She cannot be scared, or else she will die. That's why she needs him, to keep fear away. Others smell fear, they will try to hurt her cause she smells of fear. Too much fear, not enough death. Still too live, he cannot let anything harm his live person! Their smokey one is watching her now. Smokey one will protect her while he hunts for puking man. And when he finds the puking man, smokey one and his live person will be very happy. And maybe his live person will scratch his back again, like she did last night before they slept. Oh yes, very, very happy.

The puking one must have sensed that he was being followed, because he waddled away into an alley, hoping to lose his pursuer. Silly puking man, he cannot escape the powerful senses of a mighty hunter! Grinning at the puking man's stupidity, Zachary jumped in after him, ricocheting off walls until he bounced into the Boomer's back. It didn't explode upon impact, which was good because he wouldn't want to anger is live person. Live person could very angry when things went wrong, and that would be bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!

The puking man did not like being toyed with. He kept slashing the air, trying to get at the Hunter. Zachary easily avoided the short arms of the puker, a throaty laugh sounding from him. Oh puking men, they were so funny! The puker was getting angrier now, and he attempted to throw up on him. But it was useless; Zach was too fast for him! The simple ones came rushing in, milling about to swipe at the bile. Funny puking man! Funny simple ones! Try and try as they might, they will not succeed.

The puking man was even angrier now! Good, must keep his attention! Live person and smokey one will be here soon. Must keep attention until then. Puking man did not like being taunted. But puking man refused to give up. Ha ha, stupid man. Wait…wait…wait….noise, there is new noise! Not from puking man, not from simple ones. Loud noises, echoing noises. Booming stick of death noises! Where, where, where, where, where? Entrance to alley? No, not from there. But his live person was running in with smokey one. Good, they were here! But where was booming stick of death noise coming from?

Live person was confused too, she didn't have hers out. So where, where, where, where? Other end, other entrance. Something coming this way! Got his attention, got everyone's attention? What was it? What was it?

* * *

><p><strong>[Divine's POV]<strong>

Oh God, at last! Zach was there, the Boomer was there, now some research could finally be made! Her Hunter was having a grand old time messing with the Boomer, laughing and bouncing around the buildings like a pinball. It was actually kinda cute, watching him make a fool out of the Boomer. Note one: Boomers were easily goaded into attacking. Note two: Boomers were really quite stupid. Hell, anyone could figure them out. What a waste of a chapter.

And then, they stopped. Everyone froze, their attention turned towards the other end of the alley. Oh, what the fuck could be happening now? Gunfire was echoing from the other side, and her heart nearly gave out from shock. _A survivor!_ Oh thank the Heavens and whatever else was fucking holy, a real person coming her way. _Their way!_ No, they had to turn around! Three specials in one area, they were doomed! The person finally made an appearance, shooting over their shoulder. It was a guy, a pretty young looking one too. And the Boomer was right in front of him!

"Watch out!" Divine shouted. He heard her too late and smacked into the Boomer, bouncing off its jiggly fat.

"Boomer!" the guy cried, and shot her subject point blank. The Boomer exploded, and the Commons in the area descended on the kid, clawing and kicking at his gooey form. She could hear him screaming and trying to fight back, but she had a totally different problem to deal with. Ryan moved forward, and Divine made dive at his legs, knocking him to the ground. The Smoker began to drag himself towards the crowd, showing that her added weight didn't mean shit.

"Ryan, no!" the girl commanded, digging her heels into the hard concrete below them. Ryan kept going, an intense look upon his face. A screech sounded from up above, causing Divine to look up towards her Hunter. Zachary was half-way down the building he was perched on, but froze when the screech came. Well, if he didn't scream, who did?

Her question was soon answered, as a screaming ball of green shot out and went straight in for the kill. It was another Hunter, here to end whatever remained of the other survivor. The kid was dead, she was sure of it. The Commons moved away, or rather ran away to avoid the Hunter. When they had moved, she could see the green clad Hunter tearing at the kid's sides, ripping away clothing and tearing out chunks of flesh. Ryan had stopped moving, a heavy sigh escaping him.

"Dammit" he whispered, picking himself off the ground. "Hunters have all the fun" he grumbled, reaching into his pockets to dig out a cigarette. Divine untangled herself from his legs, her gaze locked on the green Hunter. That poor kid….she could have saved him. But she had to keep Ryan from going at him. God-fucking-dammit! The first real person she finds in three weeks, and he dies right after that. Stupid infection, stupid zombies!

"You fucking cocksucker!" Divine shouted at the Hunter, her hands balling into fists. The Infected glanced over at her, dropping the bloodied meat that was in his hands. He growled, climbing off the dead survivor to come after her instead. Shit, shit, shit, oh shit! "Uh, Ryan, a little help here!" she squeaked, jumping back to hid behind the Smoker. Ryan growled, arms out ad ready to strike. But he never got his chance to defend her, Zachary beat it to him. Their Hunter jumped the green one from behind, bowling into him. They rolled across the alleyway as a screeching ball of blue and green. No, not Zach! This fucker was really starting to get annoying.

Divine slung out her shotgun, and charged forward, Ryan at her heels. The Hunters rolled, and the green one was on top for the time being. Not wanting to accidentally shoot Zachary, she turned the shotgun around and batted the green one off her Hunter. They were disconnected, giving them both a chance to bounce off in separate directions.

Now that Zach wasn't in the way, Divine took a shot at the green Hunter. Her shot connected with the wall next to him, allowing the Hunter to scramble up the building, smearing blood against the bricks. Once he reached the top, he looked down at them, and let out a defiant screech before leaving. "Cool story, bro" Divine shouted after him, happy that he was gone. Zachary bumped into her legs, rubbing his head against her. She reached down to pet it while checking him over for injury. Blood was splattered over his jacket, and several tears dotted the sleeves and backing. "How do you feel?" she asked him.

"….Ohhkaaaay….." he moaned.

"Come on, let's go get you fixed up" she said, leading him out of the alley. "Ryan, let's go!" Divine called over her shoulder, wondering what the Smoker could possibly be doing.

"Just a second!" he called back, and a few moments later joined them, the bloodied carcass of the survivor in his arms.

"Ryan, that's so gross! Put him down!" she shrieked, revolted by the amount of blood and guts that remained of the kid.

"Hey man, I'm not letting a perfectly good meal go to waste! It's Greenie's fault for leaving it behind!" he countered, turning his nose up in defiance.

"You're unbelievable" Divine mumbled, doing her best to not look at the thing. Just another sad, sad reminder that her friends were cannibals now and they've probably been wanting some fresh meat for a while now. So long as she didn't have to cook it, it was all good.

* * *

><p>"Please Zach, just let me fix. I promise it won't take long!" Divine pleaded with the Hunter, trying to get him to take off his hood. He growled back at her, baring his teeth menacingly. Jesus, they needed a brushing! Actually, his whole body needed to be cleaned. "Dude, you need a bath" she added, earning herself another menacing growl. "Shut up! Ryan, get your ass in here, I need your help" she called for the Smoker. Ryan appeared a few moments later, grinning at the scene before him.<p>

"You know, cornering a Hunter is dangerous" he chuckled.

"Well, how dangerous is it giving one a bath?"

"That's a death sentence. You're not thinking of…."

"Yes, exactly. So help me?"

"….I got nothing better to do. Let's do this shit"

Zachary let out a bark of alarm as they began to advance on him. Divine shared a glance with Ryan before they pounced. The apartment filled with the sounds of screeching and cursing as human and Smoker attempted to drag Hunter into the bathroom. Really, why was he fussing so much? Divine doubted he even remembered what a bath was, but being corned must have set him on edge. That and some adrenaline probably lingered in his system from his fight with the green Hunter early that day.

By some miracle, they managed to drag Zach into the bathroom and lock the door. Getting him undressed and in the tub was an entirely different problem. Zachary was very reluctant to remove his hoodie, swiping at them whenever she or Ryan tried to touch it.

"Zach, we can do this the easy way, the hard way, or the way where I pistol whip you into submission. You choice" Divine threatened, crossing her arms over her chest. To get the message across clearer, Ryan translated her threat into zombie. The Hunter seemed to contemplate his options, looking back at the tub and his assailants.

"So what's the verdict?" Ryan inquired, ready to spring into action. Their Hunter remained silent for another few moments, before giving his answer; a loud, ear-piercing scream. Well if that's the way he wants to play, they were ready to play some serious hard ball.

"Just grab him and get in the tub! I'll take it from there! Go, go, go!" Divine ordered, turning the showers nobs to get the water running and Ryan tackled Zachary in. They crashed in, struggling to get out and stay in. Next time, they'll find a bigger tub to give Zach a bath in. Like, an indoor swimming pool. Yeah, that could work. "Alright, let's get busy!"

* * *

><p>"Now see, this isn't so bad. You're not enduring this punishment alone, I'll wash Ryan's hair next" Divine cooed at the disgruntled Hunter in front of her, scrubbing away grime, blood, and God knows what else from his hair. Zachary growled in response, but kept his head down to avoid the light, and getting shampoo in his seemingly non-existent eyes. Squished next to him was Ryan, who had a sour look on his face, weak spores and gas clouds emitting from…wherever they came from off his body.<p>

"You're a terrible, terrible person" he informed the female survivor, leaning over the tub. "We don't even fit in here. What made you think this was a good idea?"

"Let's put it this way, I'm killing two birds with one stone. Though, I wish there was a fan in here or something. You seriously need to relax, man, or else we're all gonna suffocate"

"Not my fault. You had put me, the Smoker, in a tiny, windowless room. Why? To give us a bath. You may be saving time, but you have dramatically shortened the life of your heart and lungs. Congratz"

"….God I hate you"

"The feeling is mutual. Now hurry the fuck up, woman!"

At his last remark, Divine flicked a soapy hand in his face, and continued with Zachary's hair. She wrenched his head under the faucet, rinsing out soap while avoiding his flailing claws. Now that the original color had been restored, Divine could see he had more brownish hair, with red highlights visible here and there. Now that was much better than dirty black and crawling with bugs. Satisfied, she brought him back out, giving his head another few scrubs before deeming him clean.

"Alright, I'm done with you. Get out" she said, moving to the side as the Hunter scrambled out of the tub. Like a dog, he shook himself free of water, spraying his companions. He curled up by the door, trying to pull his hair down to cover his face. Divine threw a few towels at him, amused as Zachary managed to make himself disappear under them. The masters of stealth, Hunters were. He probably missed his hoodie, poor baby.

She turned back to Ryan, dunking his head under the water before she began scrubbing. Unlike Zachary, Ryan's hair was just dirty and tainted from the smoke constantly around him, and not dirt and blood. The sickly green color washed our easily, restoring his straw-blond hair. But that was as far as she dared to go. Divine got a washcloth soaked, then handed it to him. "I'm sure you can take care of the rest" she said.

"I hope I can too" he mumbled, and Divine turned her back to him, deciding to get the figure under the towels properly dried off. She opened the door to the rest of the apartment, walking into find replacement clothes for her Hunter. Zachary crawled after her, looking like a moving pile of towels.

"Don't go far. Let me find you a shirt" Divine said, digging through a dresser for something around his size.

"…W-waaannnnt….m-miiiinnne" the towels moaned.

"Not right now. It's dirty and torn, I gotta fix it first"

"W-wannnt….nnnooooow" he whined, poking his head out a bit to whimper at her.

"Nice try, but that face won't work on me! Not tonight, anyway"

_Whether it be hunting a certain zombie, giving one a bath, or just plain running away, be careful of your actions. Some people panic and don't realize where they're going. Being scared of everything that moves will get you nowhere. Stand still too long, and you'll die. Move too fast, you die. With just a little caution, you can survive, just fine!_

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><p>I want to thank everyone for all the favs I've been getting for this story. In the last week alone, I've gotten at least eight or favs alerts. For only two chapters! You guys have been amazing! With each new email I get in my inbox, I feel like I need to crank these out faster. See you all next time!

**P.S** Keep an eye out for our new green buddy. He's not totally gone!


	4. D is for Danger

Hello there, my friends! And welcome back to the story! You're in just in time for chapter four! Aren't you just excited? Okay I'll admit this chapter might seem a little short, but it's got action. Action is good! In today's exciting installment, the big boss of the zombies finally makes his appearance!

**Disclaimer:** Left 4 Dead is owned by Valve. However, my characters belong to me!

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 4: D is for Danger

_As if this topic cannot be stressed enough. The zombie world is really quite dangerous. Every step taken only leads you closer and closer to danger. Even crossing the street has become more dangerous. While lacking cars that move, there are zombies as their replacements. As soon as the Infected hear, see, or smell you, you know that it's time to book it. Danger lies everywhere. From the most pitiful of Commons, to something a hell of a lot bigger. _

**Four weeks after first infection**

She only wanted to close her eyes for a few minutes. Just lie down and relax, to take a breather. Divine let out a sigh of content, the couch below her feeling like a cloud to her aching back. She could have been there all day, resting and fuck it, maybe a nap? A nap sounded wonderful at that moment, and she easily could have taken one. Except for the fact that she was in a house with two Infected who never left her the fuck alone. Like a certain man in a hood who's soft growls sounded louder and louder to her ears.

A few moments later, hot air blew into her face. She wanted to tell Zachary to go away and leave her alone, but she was stopped when something warm and wet slid across her cheek. Divine froze, gasping as Zachary's tongue slid up to her forehead. His breath smelled terrible, and just having him touch her like that was totally gross!

"…..Salty…" Zachary murmured, retracing his tongue to lick his chops.

"Oh yes, that's what every girl wants to hear" Divine said, snapping her eyes open to glare at the Hunter. "What the hell was that for?" she asked, ready to smack her friend in the face.

"Tasting" he replied as if it was so painfully obvious. Turning around, he let out a short series of barks to the other side of the house.

"I'm coming, I'm coming" Ryan answered back, walking over to them. "What do you want?"

Zachary excitedly told him something in their zombie talk, constantly pointing to her. Ryan listened with interest, staring at curiously. "Really? Let me try"

"Oh no, don't you fucking da-ah!"

The Smoker's tongue shot out of his mouth to slide up the side of her face that wasn't covered in Hunter slobber. Divine shut her eyes, tensing at this new, foreign feeling.

"Eh, yur ight, sheh iz saliee"

Alright, playtime was over. To show how seriously serious she was about being tasted, Divine sucked in a big breath, then exhaled it in the form of a loud scream. Her scream agitated the Infected, who let out cries of pain about the shrill sound pounding their eardrums. Divine screamed until she felt lightheaded and needed air. It was good enough, the damage had been done. Her pair of Infected was on the ground whimpering, hands covering their ears. She sat back and watched them smugly, a smirk on her lips.

"Don't do that to me, ever again. Kay?" she asked. Ryan's one eye opened to shoot daggers at her. Divine was pretty sure Zachary was doing the same underneath his hood. Grinning, the girl jumped off the couch and headed to the kitchen. She pulled open the freezer door and pulled out some watery meat looking things. The power in the house had gone off weeks ago, so now everything in the freezer was melting, and probably needed to be eaten.

She found steak looking things and threw them into the living room, where Zachary and Ryan pounced the meat. She would have cooked them, but the girl was afraid the smells would attract unwanted attention. Not like the boys really cared, raw or fresh, meat was meat. They weren't too terrible picky about what they ate.

But it would be nice if they just told her they were hungry instead of licking her face. Zombie cooties, ew!

* * *

><p>As dangerous as it was walking around at night, Divine very dearly wanted out of the neighborhood and out of the city entirely. A few days ago, her little team had finally left the city proper and into the suburbs where they had been looting houses for food and shelter. So far, they had only found one with a red steel door. Not like it mattered, not a lot of Specials had taken residence out here. Even the commons were oddly scarce; clusters of them every other couple of houses, but so far, nothing.<p>

This was so unnerving. Divine almost expected something to jump out at them and maul her face off. It was just so damn dark. The only sort of light they really had were her flashlight and the glow from the parts of the city that still had running electricity. This wasn't right, there should have been something out here to bother them, a horde or two waiting for their next meal to come running by. But there was nothing, just the quiet moans of the Infected hiding behind bushes or milling about on lawns.

The only noise to be heard was Ryan's hacking coughs, the small occasional growls from Zachary, and the sound of their feet hitting pavement. Then they heard him, a scream echoing off the rooftops. The trio paused, searching for the source. Zachary's growl increased, moving closer to Divine as if to shield her. He snarled at something, sounding like a challenge to the girl. Oh, it was him again.

Ever since their little fight a while back, the green clad Hunter had been following them, popping up to swipe at Zach, and try to pounce Divine. They could have killed him a long time ago, but Divine was far too intrigued by this sort of behavior, so she didn't really do anything about it. Actually, knowing their stalker was nearby was sort of comforting. At least _someone_ was making noise and not pretending he didn't exist. Hell, she wished he'd come out for a scrap, anything would be welcomed right now.

As they rounded the corner, Divine flicked off her flashlight as she heard sobbing nearby. Fuck, a weeping girl! She couldn't see the crier, but her sobs were growing louder with each step. A hand touched her arm, and Ryan led the survivor away and across the street. Good, he knew where she was. Divine seriously did not want to find that crying bitch the hard way, mostly because there weren't any safe rooms to run into if the crier gave chase.

Suddenly, the crying stopped. They all did. Zachary and Ryan froze, not even daring to breath. She could hear the crier stiffing her sobs, and a scuffle on the concrete told her that the weeper had gotten up, and ran. What the hell was going on? These guys were some of the baddest zombies out there, what could possibly scare them? And like that, they were off. Ryan, still holding onto her, dragged her along, Zachary right at their heels.

Looking around, Divine could see other shapes moving down the road with them. The commons were running like hell too, but not at them. She didn't understand, what was wrong? What's happening? For once second, she thought it might have been the military. Maybe a helicopter or something big like that was coming, and they were afraid of it! But the hordes were attracted by noise, and they were damn nosy. So what could be big and noisy that made them run away in fear?

The answer unfortunately came to her. The ground began bouncing beneath her feet, and Divine thought an earthquake was happening. But earthquakes didn't roar.

"Fuck!" Ryan cursed, and in one smooth movement, scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The ground was bouncing even more, and through the Smoker's gas cloud, Divine could see something big moving their way. And in the city glow, she could see exactly what was coming.

The fucker was huge, looking like a giant shaved gorilla. If The Thing and the Incredible Hulk had a baby, this thing would be it. Roaring, it stopped long enough to pick up a car and throw it at the retreating horde. Several commons screeched as the automobile crushed them, causing the survivor the cry out.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?" she screamed, earning her the attention of the massive thing.

"SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY FUCKING BAD!" Ryan screamed back, picking up speed. The giant roared again, charging straight for them. Thankfully, Divine remembered she had a gun in her hand, and began awkwardly shooting at the beast. This in turn, only pissed it off even more. Divine put together a string of colorful words as her rifle ran and out of bullets, and she struggled to reach into her pocket for another clip.

The giant was relentless, swiping aside straggling commons and bashing anything in its path. Divine stopped trying to get more ammo, and instead opted to watching their doom advance upon them. No, it couldn't end like this! She didn't want to die by some gorilla on steroids. If there was a God, oh please save them! Someone, anybody, help!

And then, the answer to her prayers arrived. An ear piercing scream sounded, and something flew out to latch onto the giant's shoulders. The giant let out a great bellow, shaking itself to dislodge its attacker. Another scream sounded, and Zachary joined in on the attack, his claws raking across the giant's face. Ryan came to a halt, torn between helping or getting her to safety. Divine was suddenly hoisted off and pushed towards a house.

"Hide" he commanded, giving her another push before turning around to help. Divine stumbled back, but did what she was told. The survivor threw herself in a hedge, finally getting a chance to pull a clip out from her pocket. She clicked it in, and took aim. Zach and the other Hunter were busy with the giant's backside, causing the roaring beast to try and beat them with his big, meaty fists.

Ryan helped by latching on to a fist, and reeling it back in with his tongue, giving the other guys one less hand to worry about. The giant's whole front side was open, giving Divine her chance. She opened fired on the beast's chest and legs, running through the clip until it clicked empty. Throwing away that one, she jammed in another, after that clip, the beast finally gave.

It let out a mighty roar, and then fell to its bloodied knees. The Hunters bounced off its back, and Ryan bit off his tongue, the rest of it sitting under the dead body. Divine crawled out of the hedge, joining the Specials to take a better look at their attacker. It was grosser up close, muscles and veins popping out of the skin. Jesus Christ, the Infection really turned some poor guy into this?

"No one wonder it was so quiet. Everybody was hiding from this…this…thing!" Divine concluded, looking back down the street at the carnage it caused. And it finally occurred to her, this is what she had heard at night right after the Infection broke out. This was that thing that roared and shook the ground at night. That one thing that sounded like a big ass, scary mother fucker. What else was out there then? She only hoped they'd never run into something his horrible ever again.

"Are we all okay?" she asked, looking around the small group.

"Yeah"

"…Uh-huh…."

"….."

It was him, their little stalker in green. He just sat there, not making a sound, acting like it wasn't him that bothered them for the past week. But thank God he came, or else they would have been toast. Smiling, Divine walked over to him, crouched down, and gave him a hug.

"Thank you" she murmured into his hood. He still said nothing, and she let go of him. As soon as Divine did that, he backed up and bounced away into the darkness. He'd be back soon enough, she was sure of it. The survivor turned back to her friends, giving Zachary a pat on his head.

"And thank you, too" she told her Hunter. Zachary gave her a toothy grin, rubbing his head against her knee, purring. "You guys sure you're okay? It didn't hurt you, did it?

"We…we fine. It…it dead. All…good" the Hunter informed her. He was getting better at speaking English again. That was good.

Thus concluded their first encounter with the Tank.

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><p>They found another safe house farther down the street, deciding it would be better to keeping going during the day, mostly so they hopefully wouldn't run into another giant, gorilla thing. But it was still nice, the safe house being in an actual house. Thankfully, small lanterns were at the ready, so at least the trio wouldn't be trying to find the bathroom in the dark.<p>

There was even a bedroom with a real bed, so that meant no sleeping bags on the floor tonight! And the cabinets had real food in it, which was a big change from the rations that were usually found in safe rooms. And ooh-la-la, the freezer had meat in it still! What a score, a well-stocked house! She could have food, and the boys could eat and….there would still be a little leftover…..hm…..

Once she had the boys gnawing at their own food, Divine walked out to the back porch with a plate of hamburger meat. Glancing around, she spotted a small table off to the side. She set the plate down on it, hoping he would find it okay. Divine walked back into the house, barricading the door behind her.

When she came out the next morning, she was pleased to find the plate empty, and licked clean.

_Danger comes in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Some dangers are easy to avoid, while others come straight for you. Don't go looking for trouble, because trouble likes to do the hunting itself. The best way to avoid it? Hide. If earlier warning signs are detectable,__ get out of the way. Take cover until the danger passes. Because a gun won't protect you forever._

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><p>Like I said, it was short. BUT IT'S A CHAPTER, IT'S AN UPDATE, SO BE HAPPY! As usual, thanks for all the reviews and favs I've been getting!<p>

And now, I must ask you all a question. Chapter 5 will begin with the letter E, but unfortunately, I have no idea what that "E" should stand for! Anyone have an suggestions? Feel free to voice them!

****Until next time!**  
><strong>


	5. E is for Everything

Heeeeeeey guys, is anyone still reading this? Didja miss me? Aw, I missed you too! Sorry for being such a lazy ass and not uploading anything for a few months. But at last, your patience has paid off! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and other alerts I've been getting in the meantime! And thanks for all the chapter name suggestions. I couldn't decide on one that I liked the most, so I threw in my favorites.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own L4D, or any brand names, except my characters.

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 5: E is for Everything

_In the world of zombies, you need to keep an eye out for everything. Please observe the following for your safety:_

**One month after first infection**

**Emergency**

Divine kicked the door of the drug store open, pleased that no alarms went off. Thank god, the power had gone out probably about a few weeks ago. No sign of any zombies either, that's a plus. She walked in, flipping her flashlight on, her companions close behind. She paused, straining to hear something besides Ryan's coughing. No sobbing, another good sign. Alright, they were set.

"Ine, why we here?" Zachary inquired, sniffing around the shelves of candy near the registers. Divine kept a close eye on him, wondering if he'd start tearing apart wrappers to eat the chocolate inside. Candy and his stomach didn't seem to agree with each other, but she wasn't in the mood to tell him off.

"Cause, baby, momma needs some uh…girly stuff. You just…do whatever, okay? Ryan, keep an eye on him"

"Yeah whatever" the Smoker responded, smashing in the cigarette cabinet window, proceeding to stuff his pockets with the tobacco filled packets. Nodding, Divine moved off through the aisles, reading the signs above for the products that she really, really needed. It was a miracle the boys hadn't jumped her yet…..But they were probably too busy keeping everything else off of her. Seriously, those mindless Commons could smell blood a mile away…the fuckers.

She grinned as she found the right aisle, walking along to find the packages of her savior. And the great debate began…tampons or pads? Well, pads obviously. She could at least wear one for a while before having to switch. Getting an infection from a blood-logged tampon was the last thing she really wanted. Her mind made up, Divine grabbed a bag of pads and headed off to the bathrooms.

It sucked to be a girl in the zombie apocalypse.

* * *

><p><strong>Evac<strong>

Divine stuck a new clip into her pistol, staring down at the dead, zombified soldier below her. They had finally found one, an evacuation center. But it was over-run, everyone dead or infected. Helicopters gone, save for a downed one lying just outside the perimeter. Everyone gone…no help…she was stuck here. Not that is was a bad thing…But…knowing that there was the chance would have been helpful. A hand landed on her shoulder and have it a tight squeeze.

"Hey girl, you okay?" Ryan asked, a look of concern on his face. Divine nodded, glancing up at him, blinking away budding tears. "Says you" he scoffed, and pulled her into a hug. She didn't resist, burying his face into his shirt, his arms wrapping around her tightly. "It'll be okay…you still got us, right?"

"I know I just…I don't fucking know. But thanks, man" she mumbled, starting to push him away. "Well, no use crying over spilled milk, right?" she continued on, pulling on a grin. Ryan looked down at her, concern still all over his face. She turned away from him, not wanting to worry the Infected anymore. It didn't matter anyway, she had a book to finish anyway.

"Ine! Over heeeere! I find yellow yummy thing!"

"…A Twinkie?"

"Think so!"

"Oh fuck yes!" Divine cried, running over to where Zachary was. It was amazing; the Hunter had found a whole box…of Hostess. Well, that made up for something!

* * *

><p><strong>Epiphany<strong>

Zachary stared at the roll of sticky-string-thing, holding up above his face, his damaged eyes. Sticky-string-thing was good, it kept his coverings together, better for leaping through the air. But he had a feeling about it….an odd feeling…but he couldn't figure out what it was. He needed to know…NOW!

The Hunter jumped up, crawling over to where Divine and Ryan were sitting around a small box of blue metal-holder-things. They were drinking some smelly thing from there, slumped against the wall, and looked tired.

"Ine, Iyan, what this?" he asked them, holding the sticky-string-thing up. Ryan's single eye closed, and his head titled back against the wall, groaning. Divine blinked a few times, scrunching her face up to stare at the thing.

"Uhhuhuhhh that's uh…uh uh….." she stumbled over words, taking a few moments to realize what it was. "Uh…ohhh…ohh I know it's…." Zachary perked up at the name, nodding enthusiastically.

Satisfied, the Hunter shoved the sticky-string-thing into his pocket, and made his way outside. Nose in the air, he sniffed for that one scent above all the others. Where was he….where was he…where…was…..FOUND HIM! Grinning, Zach took off, scaling the side of the building and dashing over the rooftops, intent on finding his target. It didn't take him long, his target was always nearby. This sitting on top of a small shelter thing, his legs dangling off the side. Zachary scrambled up, taking out the sticky-string-thing and dropping it on the other Hunter's stomach. His rival shot up in surprise, staring down at the thing.

"It called 'ducky tape'" Zachary said proudly, then bounded off the shelter and back to base.

"Holy fuck!" he heard his rival in green say.

* * *

><p><strong>Energy  Experiment **

So getting drunk wasn't the best of ideas. Divine's massive hangover told to never do that again, ever! She was walking back to their makeshift hideout with Zachary, a case of energy drinks tucked under arm. Every step she took was murder on her head, but thankfully the store hadn't been too far away. Her Hunter walked along side on two legs this time, the day's groceries in his hands.

Ryan had stayed behind, the poor thing. Apparently, alcohol and being a Smoker didn't mix well, and now he was out for the count…for a while anyway. Divine frowned at the sight of them, taking out her pistol and shooting them down, the gun shots feeling like fireworks to her brain.

"I hate Mondays" she grumbled, not even sure what day it was, but hating it nonetheless. It took another couple commons, a new clip, and a massive headache to reach their base. Divine set the box down, Ryan moaning loudly nearby.

"Make it go away!" he wailed, burying his face in his tumor-ridden arms. She stuck her tongue out at him, ripped the box open, took a can out, and opened. Bad idea, the sound probably made things worse. Divine brought the can to the Smoker, holding it down to him.

"Drink" she ordered, holding it there until Ryan took it with his own tongue, and tipped it into his mouth. "Feel better?" she asked, walking back over to the box and pulling out a can for her, and tossing one to her Hunter.

Ten minutes later, Divine found that what pure sugar did to the Infected. She would have to write more about it later.

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><p>Apologies to my male readers about the first part...If you think about it, girl survivors must have a really shitty time in this situation. And it may seem short, but mass Role-Playing at the same time doesn't help. Review, favorite, all that jazz. Point out all mistakes I made, more apologies for them being there. I can't read my own stupid writing until hours later anyway.<p>

**Until Next Time~  
><strong>


	6. F is for Fun

See, I tooooooold you I'd get a chapter up before Christmas. Now does your authoress deliver, or does she deliver? Well, here it is peeps, chapter six! Are you ready to have some fun? Well I'm sure you will!So without further fanfare, you may begin reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Left 4 Dead.

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 6: F is for Fun

_F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me. N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea. Remember survivors, no matter what happens, no matter how bleak things get, always squeeze some room in for fun._

**One month, one week after first infection**

"Petco, where the pets go!" Divine chimed, strolling through the broken glass doors of the store. Weak lights flickered on and off, and she turned her flashlight on to get a better look. She stood still for a moment, straining to listen for signs of life within the place. If one listened closely, they could hear the squeaks of mice and rats as they scurried about between shelves. Apparently they had gotten out of their enclosures and were running loose. Well good for them! At least she wasn't going to walk by an cages and find dead animals within them. At least, she hoped she wouldn't.

A growl sounded behind her, and a dark blur flew past. There was a flurry of noise, and suddenly a shrill shriek pierced the air. A few moments later, Zachary appeared in front of her, a large rat in his mouth. Divine smiled and patted his head, a small job well done for her mighty Hunter. He purred under her touch, then back away and pounced off to another part of the store.

"Oh shit, it smell like…shit in here" Ryan moaned as he walked in. "I don't wanna be here, can we go? Cause….cause…ah….achoo!" he continued, sneezing at the end.

"We're not leaving because of your stupid allergies. Now go wait outside and keep watch like a good little Smoker" Divine retorted, earning herself a rather annoyed look from the taller infected. He threw up his hand in response and waltzed back outside. They were only here because Divine wanted a look around that was all. She had another experiment in mind: determine how animal-like the infected had truly become. And the perfect place to gather supplies for that was of course, at the pet store.

She knew for a fact that the brainless Commons were attracted to loud noises and bright lights. Usually when those two elements were put together, one had a pipe bomb. But Divine didn't want her test subjects dead, she wanted them alive! Or, as alive as the Infection allowed them to be. She headed for the registers and scooped up some laser pointers for cats. Next, she moved on to the dog toy aisle. Squeakers…squeakers…squeakers! Divine picked up one that looked like a fuzzy ferret thing. One squeeze let loose a small _weeeeet_, one that barely reached her ears.

"Wuzzat?"

Divine looked up to see Zachary staring intently at the toy, nose flaring. Ah well….just because she didn't hear it that well didn't mean the same for her companion.

"It's not real….but go get it anyway!" she cried, throwing the toy down the aisle, laughing as her Hunter took off after it.

"Minemineminemineminemine!

* * *

><p><strong>[New POV]<strong>

Mouse. Rat. Mouse-Rat thing. Bird. Dead bird. Cold thing, lot of cold things. Healthy femalelivething. Him. Food. Food. Smell food. Nasty food. Bad smelling food. Not his kind of food. Stomach growling, he need right kind of food. Can't touch his right kind of food. Him, Him would not like it. Him is greedy, Him not eat food. Him play with food, sleep with food, talk to food. And food do the same. Stupid food…food that fed him that one time. Food he protected from danger that one time. Food always with Him. He did not like Him. Him brought him "Ducky tape". Him too nice. Him die soon. He wanted to kill Him. _HimHimHimHimHimHim_

Dot. He blinks, confusion. Dot? Red dot. Red moving dot. Where did dot come from? How it doing that? Is it flying? Curious now, must catch dot. Must make dot his. Must make it dead. He creeps over the floor, climbs into a shelf, and watches. Dot is on wall. Dot is not moving. Stupid dot, why does it not run? He is Hunter, he will kill it. He smirks, easy prey. _Eeasyeasyeasyeasy._

He snarls, he pounces, he catches dot in his claws. He lands, opens claws, but dot is not there! He howls. Where is dot? He had had it? It did not escape him! He is Hunter, nothing escapes Hunter! Then he freezes, dot is back on wall! How did it get there? When did it get there? He growls again and slashes at the dot. He shreds wall instead, dot is perfectly fine. His single eye widens in surprise, and reels back. No…no…._nononononononononononoooo!_ Dot die, nothing lives against his claws! His claws kill all!

He reaches out and slashes again. But nothing! Now dot taunts him, it flies in circles on the wall. Then to the sky, then to the ground. It even flies on him! He jumps, not wanting that demon dot to follow him. But it does anyway! He screams and bounds away. He vaults over the shelves again, does not stop moving until he is sure dot cannot find him.

He sits and catches his breath, hating that dot and wondering how he can kill it. And…he can hear food laughing. Food is laughing…..at what? He pauses and listens.

"_Oh my god, did you see that? He was totally flipping out! Oh man, I gotta go try this on a Common, let's go!"_

Footsteps, then all is silent. Then the mice, rats, mouse-rat things, and cold blood things start moving again. Finally it occurred to him. Food was taunting him. Food was laughing at him. He frowned. Food was mean.

**[end POV]**

* * *

><p>Laser pointer test numero dos. Divine considered her first test on Greenie a success, as the poor Hunter didn't even know what was happening. So if she could confuse him, then she could easily confuse a stupid Common. She was sitting up on a rooftop with her boys , waiting for the sun to set lower until the light of the laser could easily be seen. The girl was huddled up next to Zachary, using his constant fever as a space heater of sorts to keep her warm. Damn, it was getting colder at night. Wouldn't be long before snow started to fall and they would all need something warmer to wear.<p>

After a while, she deemed the sun set enough to begin her experiment. A small group of Commons was hanging around below them, Ryan's smoke providing a cover of sorts so they wouldn't come climbing up after her. Divine crawled forward, rested her elbows on the ledge of the building, and fired. She had to move the pointer around a bit to catch someone's attention, but she succeeded in the end.

The Common stared dumbly at the dot on the back of the other Common next to him, moaning a bit before raising a hand and smacking at the dot. The other Common let out a startled cry, whipped around, and smacked back. Divine held in her giggles as the Commons began fighting each other, pulling out a second laser to shine on them.

She shined them on each others faces, and they stopped fighting. They stood and stared for a bit….then the fighting resumed, trying to claw out the little red dots that dared to appear in front of them. And they continued to mutilate the other until Divine put a stop to that. By squeaking toy! Blowing her cover, Divine squeezed the toy loud enough for just about every Common in the area to hear her. They quickly congregated below her, arms outstretched, almost hoping that the toy would fall into their hands.

"Ry-Ry, would you do the honors?" she asked the Smoker, handing him the toy.

"Eh, why the hell not?" Ryan replied, standing. He reared back his arm, gave the toy a final squeeze, _squeeeeeeee_, then launched it into the crowd. The trio kicked back and watched the little toy get torn apart, the squeaker never silencing for a moment. And when it did finally stop, they just threw in some more until they ran out.

The eventually made camp atop that roof, lying on their backs and watching the stars as the Commons had their fun.

_Squeesqueesqueesqueesquee._ _Squeesqueesqueesqueesquee._

"Do they ever shut up?"

"No. Commons are stupid like that…."

"…..They funny too"

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><p>Happy Holidays my lovely readers, and a Happy New Year! See you in 2012! Keep an eye out for "The Survivor's Guide to Surviving Christmas" which would come out sometime this week. And a big shoutout to my pal Bolmeteus6 who featured Divine and co in his story. So you know, go read his story and stuff, just because he's a chill guy.<p>

Ciao~


	7. G is for Green Flu

Yo...So I am a liar and I never posted the Christmas edition to this story. Nor did I ever actually write it. So here you go, chapter seven instead. Yay. This is a more serious installment of the story, as we remember exactly what Divine has been running around the east with. Yay.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Left 4 Dead or any brand names. Just my characters.

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 7: G is for Green Flu

_It's all fun and games until someone remembers they're a disease ridden zombie._

**One month, two weeks after first infection**

Her boys were sick, and she didn't know what to do. Well, sicker than usual. The first snow of the impending winter season had arrived, and Divine and her Infected duo had taken shelter inside a house. And then Ryan started coughing, a lot. Hacking and wheezing violently, phlegm spraying everywhere after each cough, in colors of yellows, greens, and sometimes red. He breathed heavily, like some great stone was pressing down on his chest. Divine had cut out his tongue several times, trying to at least open his throat, but eventually gave up; it always grew back before she could even try and help him.

Zachary was a bit of a different story. The Hunter was listless, coughing to a lesser degree than Ryan. He had simply curled up into a tight, moaning ball of heat and sickness. Divine couldn't get him to play, to eat, nothing. Not even the sight of snow outside drove him to jump up and go investigate. It was like he had lost interest in the world and just couldn't care less about anything. This greatly worried the female survivor; she didn't know how to help them. They were always sick, the Infection made sure of that. But now? She wasn't sure if they had contracted anything else, wasn't sure if they could get sick with anything else _but_ the Green Flu.

She had already torn apart the house's medicine cabinet, had poured every syrup and pill possible down their throats, enough to die of overdose. They either threw it back up, or it just didn't go through. Divine, for the first time since leaving her apartment, felt absolutely helpless. There was absolutely nothing she could do to help them. She wasn't a doctor; she couldn't tell what exactly was going on with them. She couldn't prescribe the right medicine or suggest the best ways to alleviate the symptoms. She was just a girl living under a false name in the zombie apocalypse, taking care of two of the most deadly zombies out there, treating them like they were just little kids in need of a mother to care for them.

Because that's what everyone did during these times, adopt bloodthirsty monsters.

…No, they weren't monsters. Divine knew she was doing a good job of bringing some sanity back to them, despite their tendencies to…act out in a zombie-like manner. But she was intent on keeping them at that level, and she needed to act, fast. So she tore through all the closets of the house, digging out winter wear and preparing for the trek down to the local drugstore.

"Guys, I'm going out. I'll be back…in a while. Hopefully. If I don't come back…nice knowing you" Divine told her boys while loading up her shotgun, her only responses were coughs and groans. She stood in the doorway of their room, staring at them, trying to memorize every little detail that she could see from where she was. And without another word, Divine turned, walked down the hall, out the door, and into the snow covered world of whatever town they were in.

* * *

><p>It was a small town, with everything centered on one main road. Mostly Commons littered the streets, and she took care of them with blast from her gun. The drugstore was right across the street from her, and the survivor quickly made her way over. It was dark inside, so she flicked on her flashlight. As soon as she did, a feral cry sounded next to her, and something latched onto her back, kicking and beating at her. She screamed, dropping to the ground and trying to throw off her assailant. She threw her shotgun over her head, and the barrel hit something solid, and her attacker was stunned.<p>

The survivor lurched forward, slipping out of the Infected's grasp, swinging her gun back around and _boom_, created a hole in the Common's body where its head used to be. Divine sat back to re-gain her breath, panting and gasping for air until her adrenaline levels went down. _'I hate Commons'_ she thought, slowly picking herself up off the ground. She went on to grab a bag from the register and shift through the isles, dumping this and that in, hoping something would at least beat down whatever virus her boys had.

But now she had a slightly smaller problem. She found the Band-Aids. And she was torn, Hello Kitty or Barbie? Divine stood and stared at the two boxes before her, and she didn't realize she had company until two pairs of clawed hands dangled over the shelf, hot air puffed into her face.

"Oh shit!" Divine shouted, backing up and slipping on something, causing her to land hard on her butt. "Owww" she moan, rubbing her bruised behind. Growly snickering reached her ears, and Divine looked up to give Greenie a glare. "Oh shut up! Don't do that to me!" Divine roared at him, picking up a small bottle of pills and launching it at his head. It flew right over him. The Hunter let out a choking sound, covering his face with a hand, his shoulder shaking.

"Stop laughing at me" Divine growled at him, getting back to her feet and snatching up her bag and gun. "Now good day to you, sir!"

She marched out of the store, giving the dead body of that Common that attacked her a good kick before exiting. Ohhhh god, it was cold outside. And it had started to snow. Any tracks she had made on the way there were probably covered up by now. But she went on anyway, following the road back down to the house. She managed to get down the street okay, the Commons were a little preoccupied. Either the cold was getting to them, and they stood in one place frozen, or, the snow itself was distracting. She stifled her laughs Divine caught sight of one slashing at the falling specks of ice, growling and hissing what it couldn't catch.

A while later, Divine found the small neighborhood the house was at but…the snow was covering everything up again and she couldn't tell which one was the right one.

"Crap, I'm lost" she whined, glancing at the dark houses, wishing she had at least left a light on when she left. Divine shivered in the cold, and decided she may as well start going door-to-door. But a growl made her freeze. "What now?" she asked, turning around to stare at her follower. Greenie growled at her again, then turned and headed for a house a few more down from where she stood. Oh.

Divine trailed after him, eventually recognizing everything the closer they got. She suddenly broke out into a sprint, slipping and sliding through the snow and kicked the door open she reached it. "Guys, I'm home!" she called, closing the door as a large shape slipped in before she could. Divine blinked, and continued to close the door. "Alright, but if you try to fight them, I will shoot you" she threatened as she walked down the hall to the bedroom. "Guys? Hey, I got so-"

Her words were cut off when something wet suddenly wrapped around her body and squeezed. "RYAN, IT'S ME! LET ME GO" Divine screeched, digging her heels into the floor and trying to keep the Smoker from pulling her forward. She heard a guttural groaning from the other side of the room, one that vibrated through the tongue snaked around her. Her eyes widened in fear; she had only heard that sound from other Smokers, ones that were hunting her. "Ryan, no, please, NO RYAN STOP IT" she wailed, struggling now as her body was inching closer and closer to the bed. "Zachary, make him stop, please!" Divine cried.

But nothing. The Hunter had been quiet the entire time. Both of them had been. Not anymore, though. Greenie screamed behind her, and the pressure of the tongue let up. The appendage slipped off her, and Divine sank to her knees. Gee, she sure had a thing for the floor today. Silence reigned over the bedroom, save for heavy breathing that came from everyone. And finally, oh god finally, a voice.

"Divine?" Ryan croaked, sounding confused.

"Yeah baby, it's me" she wheezed back. She didn't get off the floor, didn't even look up at him. Greenie brushed up against her, sniffing at her before finally giving her face a lick. A thump sounded across the floor, and the Hunter backed off. Moments later, tumored hands lifted up her head, and she stared into Ryan's face.

"I…I….I" the Smoker tried to speak, but worry etched across his face was all Divine needed to get the message.

"Go back to bed Ryan, you're sick" she told him dully.

"I'm always sick" he replied, but shakily let her go and crawled back over and into the bed. She followed him soon after that, dragging the medicine bag over. Divine spent the next couple minutes shoving pills and liquids down Ryan's throat. It actually stayed down this time. Getting Zachary to open up was a lot harder. She had to sit on him, pry his mouth open, and dump whatever she could in. As soon as she was off him, he just curled back up. He didn't throw up either.

Exhausted, Divine just let them be and headed into the living room, flopping down on the couch where she began to cry. _'What am I doing? He forgot who I was, he was going to kill me, he totally lost it back there'_ she sobbed in her mind. She was just lucky that Zachary hadn't followed in Ryan's footsteps and try and snap her hand off while it was in his mouth. And what would happen the next time she went into that room? Would their instincts take over again? Would her Hunter finally move to pounce her and rip her guts out? Would Ryan try and strangle her again She was scared, so very scared. Those two had become her best friends over the course of the Green Flu outbreak. To lose them now to the very sickness that turned them into what they were would be heartbreaking. It would all come down to her pulling the trigger on them. She doubted she could ever go through with it.

* * *

><p>"Come on, get in here" Divine called out to Greenie through the open bathroom door. All the hot water the house probably had left was in the tub, and she wasn't about to let their newest addition to the team carry on without a bath. The Hunter poked his head in, nose flaring, and hesitantly scuttled in. "Alright, take it off. All of it" she instructed, pointing up and down his whole person. He didn't move.<p>

"Fine, guess I'll do it for you" she groused, slowly reaching out with both hands to pull his sweatshirt off. He hissed at her, baring his teeth menacingly. "Then take it off yourself" Divine demanded, folding her arms over her chest. Greenie growled at her at her for a bit, eventually stopping when he was sure she wasn't moving any time soon. Ever so slowly and carefully, the Hunter worked his hoodie off. He got stuck halfway through, and Divine did have to reach out and help him.

She got it off in one tug, and stopped to stare at her not-so-mysterious-anymore stalker. His left eye was gone, just a bloodied mess where it was once. His right one, a dark amber color squeezed shut at the sudden light from above him. Divine dropped his sweatshirt and scooted over to him, gently taking a hold of his face and sliding his right eye back open. His pupil became a sharp slit, much like a cats. The whites of his eyes were black instead. He panted under her hands, and she let him go, the eye squeezing back shut, hiding from the light.

But she wasn't done looking at him , far from it. His face was covered in round dots, so Divine licked her thumb and wiped it across the dots. Grime was flicked off, and bright red shone through. _Piercings._ One at each end of his mouth, one at each eyebrow, and when Divine turned his head to the side, more jutted out of his ears. Oh.

Divine helped him out of the rest of his clothes and managed to get him in the tub. He didn't seem to mind the water as much as Zachary, but shook like he was freezing nonetheless. It was surprisingly quiet work, he didn't fuss too much, only growled when she rubbed him the wrong way. The water he sat in soon turned black, small bits of whatever she tore out of his hair floating on the surface. Soon enough, he was deemed clean, and Greenie crawled out, shaking his body out like a dog, Divine whining about him getting water everywhere.

But she grabbed the towels and wrapped them around him, then dropped one atop his head to act as a makeshift hood. His eye cracked open again. It looked up at her, and stared. "Yeah, I know I'm pretty" Divine said with a smile, reaching into the tub to drain the water out. She had to admit, she felt a lot better about what had transpired that day. After all, she got Greenie of all zombies in the tub.

He had short, dark brown hair that looked like it had gotten a bad cut last time he went to the barber. And his skin was more of a creamy mocha color mixed with gray than just the pale coloring of other Infected. And when Divine picked up his clothes to go wash them, she found his wallet in the butt pocket of his pants. Bingo!

Excited, she dropped everything and focused on just that. These new revelations were eye opening to say the least. Antonio Gonzalez, eyes brown, hair brown, age twenty-six. Hispanic, that explained the skin tone. But that was just his driver's license. Everything else in there squeezed Divine's heart. Pictures, of a little girl. She looked a lot like the Hunter Divine was sitting next to. Pictures of the girl when she was a baby, to probably now as a kid. Hell, there was even a small scrap of paper waded up with the cash. It read:

_Josefina ama papa =)_

Divine didn't speak a lot of Spanish, but she had a feeling about what the note said. "I'm so sorry, Antonio" she whispered to the Hunter. He didn't say anything. She flashed him a picture of his daughter. His head tilted in confusion, simply staring at the picture like it was some foreign object. "You don't know who she is….Antonio"

He glanced at her.

"Antonio"

He blinked, then looked around the bathroom. There was no one else there.

"That's your name, dumbass"

He looked back over at her. He didn't even realize she was talking to him. Figures.

"Yes you. Who the hell do you think I'm talking to?"

"….Callar" Antonio grumbled at her. Divine's jaw dropped.

"You can still speak Spanish?"

"Sí"

"This whole time?"

"Sí"

"And you didn't let me know this earlier because…."

"Estás presa estúpido"

"I am not stupid!"

* * *

><p>All that above Spanish can be re-translated on Google Translate. So, we finally know Greenie's name, so give a big offical welcome to Antonio Gonzalez, or for short, just plain old Toni. Next chapter, we shall dive into the world of everyone's favorite hooded Infected in "H is for Hunter". So basically we'll have one big chap dedicated to Zachary and Antonio. Isn't that just exciting? Well, see you all next time! Hope you all had a wonderful winter holiday.<p> 


	8. H is for Hunter

At long last, chapter 8! This is the one you've all been waiting for! Now let's hope I'll get the next chapter out a lot faster! (Probably not, I'm lazy like that. Yet, here you all are anyway)

Disclaimer: I do not own Left 4 Dead, just my characters. Now read the story!

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 8: H is for Hunter

_The jumpers, the bouncers, the leapers, the hood wearing wussies. Hunters may look cute from afar, that is until they get closer. And they like to get real close, real fast. One Hunter can cause major damage. But two? It's an all out war._

**One month, two weeks, ten minutes after first infection**

She took his body coverings away. The leg ones, he didn't care for. The hard foot ones, eh. The soft foot ones, his feet were now cold, but no big deal. But his favorite one, his green one. She took that one away from him. He didn't like that. That was _his_ green covering, not hers! _Hishishishishis!_ How dare she take it! He needed that! It was his! It hid his face from the light, it made him feel face, it was all his!

"Chaqueta" he whined, staring at her sadly from underneath his towels.

"What? Chaqueta…oh! No you can't have it right now, it's dirty. I'm going to wash it later"

"Chaqueta"

"No"

"Si"

"No!"

"Si! Chaqueta!"

She huffed and walked out of the water-room, leaving him alone. He didn't move, couldn't move, and refused to. He lost his green-covering, he loved that covering. So he huddled beneath the towels, straining to listen for her, where she was, and what she was doing. He could hear the rustle of fabric, the scraping of metal, creaking of wood. He heard coughing and choking, that was the grabber. He did not like the grabber, grabber almost got her, _his_ prey. Next time, grabber won't get so lucky…

She was back, with more body-coverings. They did not smell like his though. They smelled stiff, and musty, and of prey long gone. But they were still not his coverings. "Chaqueta" he whined at her again, but she did not return it back to him. Instead, she began to help him tug on the new coverings over his body. But they were still not his favorite green-covering. He snarled at the one she was trying to tug over his head though. He'd rather sit in the cold without the top half of his body covered than wear whatever coving she was trying to make him wear.

"Toni, come on! Just put it on for now!" she begged, giving him a sad look with big eyes. Something stirred within in, but he quickly squashed the feeling inside him.

"Chaqueta" he hissed at her, backing away from the female-live-prey, not wanting to be near her not-his-favorite-green-covering. She huffed at him, rolling her eyes and exited the water-room, leaving him alone again. Fine! If she wouldn't give him his green-covering, he would just look for it himself and get her while the others were still out of it. That would show her to take his stuff.

He ventured out of the room shortly after her, crawling into the hall. She would not listen to his cries, but maybe his green-covering would hear him. Maybe if he called loud enough, his green-covering would hear him and alter him of its whereabouts. Brilliant! "Chaqueta!" he called as he crept down and out the hall into the main room where the entrance was. "Chaqueta!" he chirped again, parking is bottom down in the middle of the floor, relentlessly calling for his covering.

Where was it? Where could it be? Did it not hear him? Was he not loud enough? Oh where could it be! Suddenly, his metal-covered ears pricked up, there was something behind him. His covering? Ah, it heard him after all! But…coverings don't growl menacingly….

Oh.

His single eye widened, and he slowly turned himself around. The sight before him made him growl and bare his teeth, hackles rising, back arching. It was Him.

* * *

><p>He had awoken with a sneeze, swiping his tongue along his upper lip. And for the first time that day, he could breathe through his nose again. His head still hurt, his everything else did too, but he could breathe and that was all he needed. Zachary began to uncurl himself, muscles stretching, bones popping and cracking from the first movement in forever. He yawned, arms stretched out in front of him, rear in the air.<p>

Moving…moving hurt. Moving made him feel dizzy. But he needed to move, ached to do something, to feel his blood pumping again. Furious hacking and sputtering drew his attention to the other occupant of the room, Iyan. When did Iyan get in here? Groggily, the Hunter crawled over and on top of the Smoker, waving away sickly green smoke to see his friend. But ah, he was sleep, his single orange eye closed shut. Yet he kept coughing and hacking away, Zachary moved away to avoid being coughed upon. Awkwardly, he half climbed, half tumbled off the bed to the floor.

He needed…he needed to fine his 'Ine. Where was she? He needed her, he was hungry. His head still hurt, and the room spun when he moved, but he was still hungry. But where would he find her? He sniffed the air, hoping to pick up her scent. Aha, he could smell her! And water…and some…fruity smells….Oh, the water-bath-gooey-smells. Was he getting a bath? No, he hated baths! He did not want one, he was too sick for one, no bath!

Zachary sunk into the floor and buried his face into his arms; no bath! But she never came calling for him, no dragging him off or shoving him into the long water hole. He could hear her though, her voice drifted throughout the house. But what she talking about? Was she talking to someone? There was no one else here was there?

And that's when he heard it.

_"Chaqueta"_

He froze, ruined eyes twitching.

_"Chaqueta"_

_"Chaqueta"_

_"Chaqueta"_

That one sound echoed through the house, down the hall, into the room and right into his ears. He knew that voice. He breathed in, soaking up all the scents that his nose could reach. He growled. He knew that scent too. While Zachary was on somewhat…friendly terms with the other Hunter, he wasn't about to let a rival flounce around here, a rival in _his_ territory. Unnaturally silent, he stood and slunk out the door, slipping down the hall to stand at its entrance.

And there he was, making that distressing sound, exposed. The other Hunter looked smaller without his usual covering, his grayed skin covered in scars and scratches. He was in good shape, muscles jutting out of his skin. But that didn't mean he was stronger, stronger than him! His rival was in _his_ territory, and Zachary would not let this go by! It didn't matter that he felt ready to flop over at any second, all his attention and focus was fixed on the other Hunter before him.

He would pay for trespassing.

He growled menacingly at the other male, and his rival whipped around to face him. His lips pulled back into a grin; was that fear he detected? Suddenly everything became so focused, so clear. There was a trespasser in his territory. He needed to deal with. And with that, his muscles bunched and the larger Hunter sprang forward at the intruder.

He will _paypyapyapaypaypaypay_ for being here!

* * *

><p>The next thing Toni knew, his back was slamming into the ground, and he let a surprised gasp. He should have been expecting that jump, should have been ready for that. He was so <em>stupidstupidstupid<em> sometimes. Toni snarled at his attacker, curling his legs beneath him to kick off the other Hunter. The other went flying back, and he quickly flipped himself over to scramble up and away.

He was screamed at, the Hunter's feral cry of attack. He heard the _woosh_ of air that told him the other pounced, and his rival crashed into him one more. They tumbled, they bounced, they hiss and spat at each other like cats. They were a whirlwind of noise, clothing, sickness and anger. His rival chewed on his ear, so he slashed at his face. His rival would hiss and pull away only to rake his claws down his chest. They traded blows like that, trying to deal as much damage as they could to the other without killing him.

This is wasn't just a fight to defend territory. It was a fight for dominance.

It didn't matter how many times his face was slashed at, his stomach kicked, an artery almost being snapped, he would not submit. If his rival was a better Hunter, he could have taken out the prey already. Instead, he let it wander about, begging to be eaten. What was the point in keeping it around? Wasn't he hungry? Toni was starving. His last catch had been so long ago. He had been forced to catch and eat lesser prey, it just did not satisfy him. She would though, his rival's prey. Perhaps that's why he was saving her. Needed a good meal..good meal…

His thoughts were distraction enough to allow his rival to topple him over, and the hissing and spitting momentarily resumed. But it was he needed, his rival pinned him. But Toni still refused to submit. Even as dagger like claws dug into his sides, he still refused. His rival growled at him, hovering dangerously close to his throat, ready to bite down whenever, _to end it.*_ He still refused, did not utter a thing, did not move a single muscle. He would remain defiant, no matter what. His rival was irritated, upset from the lack of reactions he wasn't getting from him. A warm gush of air tickled his throat, and he could almost feel teeth at his skin-

_Boom!_

He jumped. His rival jumped. Fuck they jumped. They did not expect the boom of a death-stick at all. They sat there panting, adrenaline coursing through their veins, as well fear. If a death-stick sounded that close to them, it meant the end was near. The heard the click of the death-stick, but another boom never came.

"Alright, I hope that's the end of that"

It was her, the prey. She had the death-stick in her hand. She almost shot them. _She could have shot them._ But Toni was far too paranoid about the death-stick to care about anything else. "Zachary, get off him" she ordered his rival, who snapped out of his daze to hiss at her.

"No. Tresssspassser. Must make submit" his rival growled at her, looking down at him to snarl in his face, as if doing so would seal the deal. Toni snarled right back, ready to start fighting again when a loud click sounded, and another _boom_ shattered their eardrums.

"Now Zachary"

Whimpering, his rival climbed off and back away. A few moments later, something soft and green landed on his chest. Toni let out a bark of joy and clung to his covering, sniffing at it to make sure it was his. And sure enough, it was, so he wiggled back into it and finally pulled the hood over his face. Perfect.

The prey walked over to his rival to feel his forehead. "Goddammit, you're like a fucking furnace working over time. You're still sick, get back to bed" she said, nudging the other Hunter away.

"No! Must….tresspassser….must…make…submit" he whined, shooting a look at him beneath his hood. But with the prey's insistence, he was herded out of the room into another room. Out of site, out of mind. Toni sat silent through it all, observing their behavior towards one another. Prey seemed to care a lot about his rival. They were close. So if she suddenly disappeared, he would get angry. He would get very. very angry. And while their fight was exciting and blood pumping…Toni did not want to tangle with him again like that.

But…his rival…Zaa-ker-ee…was sick…Not sick with the usual sick, sick sick sick. As was the tall smelly one in the den. Both sick. But both capable. This was going to be harder than he thought.

_Never underestimate the abilities of a Hunter. It may be the end of you. Just because they look "wussy" doesn't mean they still can't rip you to shreds._

* * *

><p>Dat's it, homeskills. Review, fav, follow, you know the drill. Any mistakes, lemme know right away. Tell me what you think, love it or flame it, whatever man. Tune in next-whenever for the next exciting chapter of the Survivor's Guide! On the menu is Chapter 9: I is for Infected.<p>

Safety and peace my brothers and sisters!


	9. I is for Infected

What's this? Another update? So soon! Is this some sick joke? No, it's not! I got the idea for this chapter right after I posted the last one, and I spent all day writing. So here you are, chapter 9 so soon. Enjoy folks!

Disclaimer: I do not own L4D. Just my characters.

Notes: The first part of this chapter is a memory, just to let you know ahead of time.

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><p><span>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<span>

Chapter 9: I is for Infected

_The Infected are a strange bunch. Yes, they're zombies that have an appetite for healthy, human guts and skin, but some of them are unique in their own way. Most shamble around in a daze. Some become fat and have a tendency to throw up on their victims. Some take to the shadows to hunt their prey, pouncing them at the last second. Others take to the rooftops to snare them with their tongues. And a few…become something entirely different. _

_But one thing remains the same: They were someone once. It's just a matter of remembering who they were exactly._

**One month, two weeks, one day after first infection**

_He watched her buzz around the kitchen, grabbing things from cabinets and the refrigerator, dumping them into various pans on the stove. He was leaning in the doorway to the room, a morning cigarette dangling from his fingers. He didn't call out to her, didn't do anything to alert her of his presence. He was quite content with just watching her go about making breakfast, she always made a crapload on days like this, when her sudden urge to cook had reached his peak. She was so adorable sometimes._

_"You know, you could come sit down or something instead of watching me like a perv" she said, glancing over her shoulder to smile at him._

_"Oh, so you could tell I was looking at your ass?" he replied, grinning. She rolled her big, chocolate brown eyes at him and went on with her preparations._

_"Ryan, stop being such a horndog" she scolded, but she wasn't angry, her smile told him otherwise._

_"You know you love it" Ryan said before taking a drag from his cigarette. He fully entered the kitchen, moving over to her to hover as she worked like mad over the stovetop. "'Sides, what's cookin Mia?"_

_"Everything. I have eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns, and I'm gonna make pancakes soon" Mia explained, looking up at him, her nose crinkling. "Do you have to smoke that now? This close to my food?"_

_"Yes, I do" the blonde shot back, taking another drag._

_"Those sticks are gonna be the _death _of you one day"_

_"Maybe. I'm not too worried"_

_"Whatever. Put it out" Mia ordered, resuming her work. As much as he hated to waste a fresh cig, Ryan did as he was told, heading to the kitchen table and dropping it inside an ashtray. "Now sit your ass down so I can feed you!" she ordered next, and the blonde happily obliged. He knew he did good when he started dating her a few years ago. Short brunettes were the best damn cooks ever, and Mia never failed to please._

_He couldn't help but grin like an idiot as a plate of food was placed before him, couldn't help but moan like a doofus when he took his first bite, watch his girl bounce back over to the stove to ladle more food onto a plate of her own. She was perfect, just fucking perfect for him. Didn't matter that he had to bend down to kiss her, didn't matter that he towered over her like a giant, he just didn't fucking care. Girls like Mia just didn't get any better._

_"What are you thinking about?"_

_Ryan was snapped out of his thoughts._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You're thinking about something. I know you are, that stupid look is on your face" she teased, sticking her tongue out at him._

_"Oh…well yeah I was. Wanna know about?"_

_"Sure why not"_

_"You"_

_"Creeper"_

_And they both laughed._

* * *

><p>His eye snapped open, and Ryan stared up at the ceiling. His head hurt. Really, really hurt. Coughing made it hurt worse. So much pain. <em>Painpainpainpain.<em> But he…he felt like he needed to do something. Something…something important. What was important? Something was….Suddenly something popped into his head, an image. A live-thing, female live-thing. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Divine? No, not Divine. Too solid to be Divine. Who was this live-thing then? Something else sprang into his mind: Mia. _MiaMiaMiaMiaMia._

Find Mia. He had to find Mia. Who was Mia? He didn't know, but he had to find her. But his head still hurt, so much _painpainpain._ Find Mia. Had to find her. Before it even registered in his disease-ridden mind, he was shoving his skinny frame off the bed and getting to his feet. His body sagged to the left, his vision swam for a moment, the room spun around him. Had to find her. He lurched towards the door, had to get out of here. _Findfindfindfindfi-_

**Bonk!**

The Smoker grunted as his head smacked into the top of the doorframe, he forgot to duck down under it. He reeled back, losing his footing and tumbling to the floor with a crash. Pain, pain everywhere. Had to find Mia. Where was she? Where…where…where….

His head still hurt, but now it hurt more. It hurt so much, the pain was blinding. He choked on his coughs, seizing up. Everything hurt, it hurt so much, oh the pain. Breathing, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't do anything at all. His eye squeezed shut, his throat constricted on him. So much pain, it was like he was saying. _Makeitstopmakeitstopmakitstop._

As suddenly as it happened, the pain vanish. He could breathe again, and he lay wheezing on the floor, gasping for air. His eye creaked back open to stare at the ceiling again. The ground beneath was hard. Ground? When did he get on the ground? Wasn't he in bed before? What was he doing here? Did he fall out of bed? How odd.

"I'yan?"

The Smoker turned his head to look up at the Hunter peering at him from on the bed. He could smell fear from the smaller infected. Fear? Why fear? What was there to be afraid of? Did something happen? What was going on? Groaning, Ryan picked himself off the floor and crawled back onto the bed.

"Hey Zach…what happened?"

"You fall down. You hit head. You….you acted funny"

"Funny? Funny how?"

The Hunter looked nervous, wringing his hands and keeping his head bowed.

"You were..just…funny…not haha funny…bad funny…not good funny…scary" Zachary said quietly. Ryan didn't know what he meant. He didn't care. His head hurt again, the room was spinning again. He slumped over, head hitting the pillow and he was out like a light.

* * *

><p>Toni sat by the door, tugging at the odd coverings the prey made him wear. She called it "snow gear", whatever that meant. It was awkward to move and he felt stiff and restricted. The prey finally joined him by the door, dressed similarly to him and loading her death-stick. Without saying anything, she tugged the door open. Outside everything was blindingly white. His iris contracted to a mere slit, there was so much light being reflected.<p>

He hissed at the white, his breath coming out in a fog. Despite his fever heated body and all the coverings, he could feel cold nipping at his hands and face. And that was just with the door open.

"Come on, let's go" the prey said, venturing out the door, the whiteness crunching beneath her boots. Toni was hesitant to follow, he did not want to touch the whiteness, and it felt cold outside. He did not like the cold. "Come on, or else I'll just leave you here with Zachary"

At the mention of the other Hunter's name, he reluctantly scuttled out the door, and the prey closed it behind him. The whiteness was hard but crunchy, and very very cold. _Coldcoldcoldcoldcold._ He shivered in place, teeth clacking together. He did not like this crunchy whiteness.

"Keep moving, you'll stay warm that way" the prey instructed, trudging through the whiteness and away from the house. He could only follow her, despising every step he took, every single contact his hands made with the whiteness. The pair worked their way out of the small neighborhood and into the town. Whiteness covered everything, metal-noisy-boxes were just covered in it, looking like small hills on the streets.

But something was off. Aside from the sound of walking, all was quiet. None of his lesser brothers and sisters were shambling about. There was no sound of them groaning, coughing, screeching, retching. Nothing at all. It was if they had all disappeared, like the whiteness had dropped out of the sky and covered them. It was unnerving. He strained his ears to something aside from his own breathing, anything at all.

Nothing. Nothing at all. Where did everyone go?

"Toni"

He jumped a bit when the prey said his name. She said it quietly, but compared to the silence around them, it was loud and clear. "Toni…can you sense anything? At all?" the prey continued, walking with some sort of purpose, clutching the death-stick tightly. That was a good question, could he? He couldn't hear or see anything, but what about smell? The Hunter lifted his nose into the air and sniffed a few times. All he got was cold and wet, not blood or skin or disease like normal. The whiteness masked most scents, save for their own.

Toni shook his head; there was no way of telling. The prey nodded and they continued on. She led him to a building a lot like the one he tracked her to yesterday. Except, this one had foodsmells coming from it. Old, rotted foodsmells. Icky foodsmells. But that didn't stop the prey. She flicked on the light on her death-stick and began rummaging through the building. He padded after her, his nose crinkling at the multitude of scents washing over him.

There was the foosmells, there was the scents of prey long gone but still lingered in the air, of his lesser brothers and sisters, of metal and dust. It was enough to make his head spin, but somehow he managed to stay focused and he continued to follow the prey around. She had found a holder-thing and she was shoving crinkly colored things into it, walking up and down the isles to find more. The search was short lived, and eventually they exited the building.

It had grown slightly darker when they got outside, and slightly colder as well. They needed to hurry back to the den before visibility was completely gone. Luckily their scent trails were still there, and Toni took the lead in re-tracing their steps. Their trek back was as silent as the trek there, and his nerves shot up again.

Then his ears pricked, he heard shuffling through the whiteness. A feral cry sounded, and a lesser suddenly popped out of the shadows and threw itself at his prey. Toni snarled, but before he could even pounce, the prey took the lesser out with a short boom from her death-stick. Another cry, and another lesser followed the first, a few more joining it.

The duo made quick work of them each. The last one started all the trouble though. Toni had slashed at it, it stumbled back, and the prey ended it with another boom. The body flew back and hit a very large mound of whiteness. A loud, horrible screeching noise came from the mound and it made his ears burn. He covered them and squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could block out the pain.

"Cállate!" he screeched at the mound. His reply did not come in the form of the mound silencing itself, but the chilling howls and caterwauls of many, many lessers.

"Run like hell!" the prey shouted over the noise, and they both took off running down the street. It was like the area had come alive, the screams and snarls of lessers advancing upon them, as if they had awoken from a slumber to seek out the very thing that caused them to wake. The whiteness hindered their process, they were constantly slipping and sliding along it.

Luckily, his lesser brothers and sisters were having a just as difficult time catching up to them. However, there were those who bypassed the problem and caught up with them, grunting and hissing all the way. Now was the time to fight and not flee. With no other choice, Hunter and prey faced their attackers, fighting tooth, nail, and death-stick.

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><p>Divine tiredly pushed the door open to the house, her shotgun depleted of shells, her grocery bag in tatters, and everything she wore was covered in blood. It was terrible luck that she shot the stupid zombie that would bump into a car, a <em>live<em> car at that! She would have thought the battery would have been dead by now! But oh no, the odds were not in their favor, and they had to fight a fucking horde. Dear. Fucking. God.

As Toni waddled in through the door, the survivor weakly slammed it shut, tossing her empty shotgun aside and trudging to the bathroom. She doubted she'd be able to get another bath going, let alone trying to to wash herself _and_ the small Hunter, so that option was out. Sink baths were okay too, nothing wrong with those.

Divine wrestled off her bloodied snow wear, examining all the tears and snags in it. There was a long scratch down her arm, someone managed to get a claw down it. Several more scratches and bites dotted her arms and upper body. Looking herself over in the mirror, the survivor looked like she had gone through the paper shredder wrong. Just an utter mess. As she turned the sink on to start washing herself off, a yelp sounded from the living room.

Panicking, the female dashed away to see what fresh horror was commencing now. But it wasn't horror, it was…cute, in some sense. Zachary must have smelled the blood they carried on, because the larger Hunter had Toni pinned again, but instead of trying to end his life, Zach was licking the blood off the other's skin. Toni's face was twisted in displeasure, but it looked like he wasn't about to push the larger Hunter off him either.

Rolling her eyes, Divine went back to the bathroom. They were fine.

_The Infected are truly an odd group of people._

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><p>Welp, I never said it was gonna be good. Enjoy it anyway! Later folks! Oh, one more thing. This month (April) on the 10th will be the first year anniversary of the Survivor's Guide. Meaning on that day in the U.S.A, this story was published. Nine chapters in one year. God fuck, I am lazy.<p>

Bless your face.

RS94, out!


	10. J is for Jump

Heeeeeey guuuuuys, how's it going? Are you ready for another chapter? I think you are! This felt really short to me, hm. Oh well, at last, chapter ten! This means we're only sixteen chapters away from the end, oh my gosh! And as usual, thanks for all the favs and stuff I've been getting for this story, you guys are awesome and deserve this chapter.

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><p>Chapter 10: J is for Jump<p>

_When it doubt, jump it out._

His rival was whining and pawing at the door in impatience, using the tongue of the prey to beg and plead for her to open the barrier that kept them separated from the outside. Antonio could only roll his eye in annoyance, but he could feel impatience gnawing at him. He was flopped on his back with his feet in the prey's lap, waiting for her to roll the shiny stickiness around his legs. She had dressed the two of them up in the warm layerings in preparation of their small excursion to the outside full of cold whiteness. He honestly did not want to venture out but he knew the prey wouldn't let him stay inside just for the hell of it while his rival frolicked about by himself.

That and his rival was smart enough to know not to let him near the prey alone anyway.

"Okay Toni, all set" the prey cooed at him. Snarling, Antonio swung his legs away from her, rolling to his stomach and stalking towards the door. She did not have to make such noises at him like that, he still understood her fine without the extra sounds she would make at them. Disgusting, the prey thinking herself better than him, a powerful and mighty Hunter. But the glare his rival shot at him beneath his hood, he was reminded that he wasn't as powerful as he would like. Not in this domain he was.

"Alriiiight, ready to go boys?" the prey asked them, a big happy grin on her that Antonio just wanted to claw off…then maybe…eating would be good.

"Yes yes yes yes, out out out out!" his rival jabbered at her, bouncing in place excitedly. Antonio grunted in agreement, but he wasn't that happy about it. Not at all. But it wasn't like the prey could read his mind and she flung the door open for them. His rival let out a yowl as he launched himself out of the house and into the pile of white coldness just outside. "Coooooollllllllllllld!" his rival shrieked and shot back inside, shaking off white coldness from his coverings.

Antonio hissed at him and stalked away from him, this was exactly why he didn't want to go out there! It was cold and gross and the last time he was outside, the lessers tried to take his prey away. And that wasn't allowed to happen again. But the prey ignored his rival's protests and cries and urged him back out of the den to go play. Somehow she succeeded (then again, his rival was dumb enough to believe everything she muttered at him), and his rival was out and about romping in the whiteness.

"Come on Toni, you too!" the prey tried to push him out as well, but he refused to move for her. He was not going anywhere, and he certainly wasn't going out into the coldness with him. He hissed and snarled at her whenever she tried to nudge him out, once even swiping his claws at her. She really didn't seem to get the message until then. Folding her arms across her chest and pouting at him wasn't going to work either.

Those actions only made him more stubborn, want to refuse and glare at her until she wilted, tucked her tail between her legs and slinked away. Yet she wasn't doing that and it turned into a glaring match instead. Soon enough he was growling at her, wishing she'd just go away already and let him be and shut the damned door because it was cold and all the heat was being let out. But their stalemate was going no where.

"Don't you two have anything better to do than just like, I dunno know, stare at each other?" the Smoker said to them as he made his way towards the door, a small, smelly stick dangling between his fingers, and he was all dressed up to venture out into the coldness. Antonio's nose wrinkled as the cloud of smoke that constantly followed the taller Infected swallowed them up, causing both him and the prey to start coughing.

"Ryan, coughcough, could you just like, just get outside already?" the prey wheezed, and the Smoker happily obliged, taking his toxic cloud with him. Antonio could breath easy again, he really didn't like being around Smokers like that. "Hey wait, Ryan, could you get this out of the house for me?" the prey called after the Smoker, and his eye narrowed at her. What was she talking about? Seconds later, something wet wrapped around his waist, and he suddenly flew backwards. The den, gone, door, gone, white, everywhere. He was dumped unceremoniously into a pile of the white coldness and ahhhhhhhhhhhh, cold cold cold cold cold!

He really did not like the cold.

Antonio climbed out of the white coldness, hissing in utter disgust and shaking his hands in an effort to get the coldness off them. Stupid, stupid, stupid prey probably thought she was so clever for using the Smokey one against him like that. Said Somkey one was choking out a laugh at him, making him snarl and bare his teeth. He did not like being taunted at like that. The Smokey one stopped laughing, but still looked very, very amused.

"Get over yourself" the Smokey said to him in their language, brining the smelly stick to his mouth and inhaling.

"Choke" Antonio spat back and stalked away, growling with every step because the white coldness was really cold and icky and he really didn't like it. His rival did though. His rival would suddenly spring up from a big pile of coldness and into another one. And that pile would seemingly eat him before he just jumped out again. And his rival was…having fun with it. How? It was so cold and gross and Antonio would sooner roll around the fat, gurgling one's bile than this disgusting coldness.

Cold, disgusted, and bored, Antonio turned around to head back to the den in hopes of the prey opening the door and letting him back inside. The cry of the Hunter made him snarl and turn right back around in time for his rival to crash into him. The two rolled into a large pile of coldness where they went to just wrestle and try to kick the other off. Well, Antonio was trying to kick his rival off, his rival just wanted to…play with him?

"Play, play, play!" his rival demanded, sitting on top of him with a big, toothy grin. Antonio refused by swiping at that stupid face, his rival barely dodging it, the edges of his hood shredded. Oops. That wasn't good. Nope, not at all. That was bad. The grin went away at least, but was replaced with an ugly snarl. Antonio's single eye widened, and he struggled to get away.

He did get away, but not on his own accord. The next he knew, his rival was rolling him over, so now he was sitting on his rival. More specifically, his rival's legs. He got kicked off. He was sent sailing through the air to crash into more coldness. He desperately tried to get to his feet and run, but the coldness beneath his feet made standing a bit of a hassle. But it gave his rival just enough time to come tearing after him.

And so a big game of chase between the two ensued. Through piles of coldness, over the slippery rooftops of the dens, Antonio ran from his rival. At one point, he burst through a window to a den, thinking he had lost his chaser. He paused to catch his breath, his lungs burning for air. While he could chase down prey easily, running from another of his kind was not an easy task.

Then he heard it, a muffled, crying noise and hopped to his feet, hoping it was possibly more prey in hiding. Because that sound could be prey…could not be, but he had to check anyway. He was in a hallway. and the sound came from one of the rooms. Antonio cautiously edged down the hall, remaining silent in case the prey heard him. The further down he got, the more he could hear the crying. All the rooms were closed off, save for one. There.

He edged to the entry way of the room, poking his head around the corner to look inside. He snapped his head back and pressed up against the wall, holding his breath in case he was seen. But no, the crier did not cease in her crying, meaning she didn't sense him, and he was safe. For now. He needed to get out before the crier did realize he was there. Mighty Hunters did not fear the criers, when they were crying anyway. Once enraged, those claws were deadly, and a Hunter could be seriously injured because of it. He needed out out out out out out now!

He didn't get very far with that. As he inched his way back down the hall, his rival finally found him, squeezing in through the window and screaming loudly at him. Antonio waved his claws at him, get back get back! His rival only took that as a sign to attack, and he pounced. The smaller Hunter was slammed into floor, his rival snarling at him. Antonio didn't respond back, and only noticed how quiet it was.

Then the growling started. It wasn't from him, and it wasn't from his rival. They stared at each other in confusion before slowly turning their heads to see the crier glaring right at them. His rival had knocked him back right into the crier's line of sight. And she did not look happy. They could only watch as she stood and held her deathly claws up and their growls got worse.

They screamed. Not the about-to-pounce-and-kill scream, the going-to-piss-myself scream, and now they were scrambling away to not be near her and her claws and she screamed back at them and now she was after them. Antonio somehow made it to and out the window first, falling from the height and landing perfectly on his feet. His rival didn't come after him. The smaller Hunter glanced back up at the window, still able to hear the shrieks of the crier, and the screams of his rival. But nothing was coming out.

He felt torn. He could co back up and see what was happening, help him maybe. But at the same time, he hated his rival, right? This was a good thing, the crier would kill him and the prey would be all his! Buuuuuuut, he did sorta maybe want to make sure his rival got out okay. After all, what would the prey do if she found his rival dead? What then? Okay fine, he would go back up and look.

But then all the screaming stopped. It got really, really quiet. Was…was someone dead? Did the crier stop? Someone had to be dead. Silence still, yup, they were dead. Somewhat satisfied, Antonio turned and prepped to jump away when a ragged cough sounded from above. Moments later, his rival clumsily landed next to him. Only because his arm was held up against his chest, and Antonio could smell the blood off him. His rival's arm covering was soaked in red, and a large tear went down the side.

The crier had gotten him!

And while it would have been easy to still just walk away from him, Antonio sat there and watched over his rival while the latter licked at his wounds. It may have been cold, and the coldness was still icky, and he really shouldn't have cared, and really it was his rival's fault for getting them caught by the crier. But he still didn't go anywhere until his rival was good and ready.

It felt really weird to do.

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><p>Did that feel like filler to anyone else? Felt like it to me. But that's a chapter down and plenty more exciting ones to go. So see you next time for chapter 11, and the letter is K. So tell me readers, what word that starts with K would best suit the zombie-apocylypse? The reason this chapter took so long to start was because I didn't know what to call it! So, Chapter 11: K is for...?<p>

Laters

**UPDATE 5/9/13 **Way too late to be telling you all now, but you can STOP sending in suggestions for chapter 11. I actually have the chapter already named and written, I just need to type it up. So now I encourage you all to start pestering me about doing that instead. K, thanks guys, and thanks to everyone who's sent in a title for ch 11.


	11. K is for reKap

The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection

_Chapter 11: K is for reKap_

**Two months, three days after first Infection**

"It was October (maybe September) when it started…I think. It was..it was just another flu. Everyone thought it was just another flu. It acted like one, it felt like one, and no one was worried about it. What was there to be worried about? People get the flu all the time, it's nothing special. CEDA was on the scene almost immediately, letting everyone know it was okay, wash your hands, shit like that. Just like any other flu season.

"And then…Everyone got sick. Couldn't walk down the damn street without someone throwing up or having a seizure. Then the riots started, then the real Infection started. I thought I was smart. I locked myself up in my apartment. I was in there for three days, three days too long. I left, and went to get myself some proper weapons. All I had to defend myself with was a frying pan. Tried not to think too hard about the "people" I was hurting. The first real encounter I had that almost ended badly was with a Witch. I just barely got away. And so life out on the streets in the fucking zombie apocalypse began.

"I don't know what the hell I was doing out there. Still not sure how I managed to keep myself alive. But…I had a run of good luck. I think…I think I heard him first before I met him. Cause when I found him, he had his leg caught in a bear trap, so I think because he screamed, I shot a stupid Boomer and got myself covered in goop, which led me to run for a safe house and that's where I found him.

"Normal people would have thought I was crazy, but since there were no more normal people, helping out a fucking Hunter was a pretty damn good idea to me. But I'm glad I did that. I think because of Zachary, I've managed to keep some sort of sanity during those early weeks. And it's been what…a month now since we've met? Maybe more? I don't know how it's been since this all started. It's felt like years really.

"A week after I found Zachary, we met a Smoker named Ryan. Ryan's intelligent, to say the least. He has more of his mind than any other Infected I knew. He had no recollection of who he was or what he once used to be, but he could still speak human, so that was enough for me. Shortly after, we met Antonio. Not officially though, he and Zachary got into a scrap, and that was the most of him we saw that day. Didn't stop him from stalking us for a while, but he was a lifesaver at one point and well…Couldn't hate him too much after.

"I have no idea what we're after anymore. The boys just follow me around because they like me, but they don't have any drive in their lives. At least, I don't think they do. While I've been running all over the goddamn East Coast looking for a manned evac center, the boys…They're regaining their humanity. They're actually talking to me more. Zach and Toni are walking on two legs again. And I think they're starting to remember things from the past, Ryan seems to have these episodes a lot. But they're so easily triggered back into madness and insanity, I don't think their mental health is going to get better any time soon.

"Which won't help if I do find the military. They'll gun my boys down at first sight, and I can't let that happen. I still need my boys anyway. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I have been alone too long with a bunch of zombies. Or maybe I just want to give something back to humanity, or what's left of it. It's something in the works since I stepped out of my door into this new world, and while it's far from complete, one day, someone's going to benefit from this.

This is the Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection. And I will keep writing this until the day I lose my mind, or die. Whatever comes first"

-Your Divine writer, Be-

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><p>What in God's name were they doing? Divine stared long and hard at the journal in front of her, pen posed to sign the rest of her name. But the racket in the other room was starting to increase in noise, and suddenly something thumped loudly against the wall. Sighing, Divine set her pen down and stood from her chair. She had come in here to write for the purpose of having some peace and quiet, as she was intent to have total concentration and get this done.<p>

Except leaving the three of them in one room together was always a horrible idea. Not that they were better behaved while she was there, but usually she could shoot down any dumb ideas they managed to come up with. Their normal ideas were usually along the lines of beating the absolute shit out of each other.

Divine tugged at her jacket, shivering as she open the bedroom door and walked into the living room. Their current safehouse had been built into a little townhouse…somewhere in Virginia maybe? (They might have crossed the border from Maryland a couple days ago…Or maybe two weeks ago?) The living room, now at this point, was a total wreck, and it just looked absolutely terrible. The nice, vintage couches that looked straight out of colonial times were torn to shreds. The super old, vomit inducing wallpaper had long gashes in it, and really the only thing that looked untouched was the fireplace.

And like two, oversized dogs in sweatshirts, her Hunters were collapsed in the epicenter of their whirlwind of extreme damage, with one unamused Smoker serving as their pillow. Ryan lifted his rather battered face to Divine as she walked in, worming an am out to reach for her.

"Help me" he whined, arm dramatically flopping to the ground, with Ryan moaning in such paaain and aaaagony. Divine just slowly shook her head at him, having no intention to help him at all.

"Guys? It's common courtesy to leave the safehouses intact when we leave them, so that way the next people to drop in don't think something was murdered in here" Divine addressed the three of them.

"Okay look, hold on a second" Ryan interjected, worming out another arm to half hold himself up. "It's these two that can't be left in a room together" he motioned to the bodies lying on top of him. "Their sexual tension has become too much, and they practically explode every single time they hear each other [i]breathing[/i]. I was attempting to break their fight up, but then-"

"This happened?"

"Exactly"

Divine contemplated this information for all of five seconds before declaring that she didn't care. The house was still a mess, and her muse had been ruined. "Well thanks Ryan, that's really unfortunate and all, but that doesn't excuse you from anything" Divine eventually said to the Smoker. "Clean this place up, all three of you or else I'm not making you guys dinner" and she left the room to go back to the bedroom to go back to staring at her journal.

The fighting resumed a minute later. They all went hungry that night.

_xxXXxxXXxx_

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><p>Shady's back, tell a friend.<p>

It's been a long ass time since I've updated this story. This is the third time I've attempted this chapter. I wouldn't except longer chapters out of me, but, here's something regardless. It does make me happy to know that people are still reading this, and I still have a lot in store for all my readers. And I love you guys so much, you're all amazing.

From here on out, we're gonna do things a bit different, if you couldn't already tell. Which shouldn't be much of a surprise, I've been at this for three years, and it's only natural my skills as a writer have grown and changed since I posted the first chapter of this story. So...yeah.

Ya miss me?


	12. L is for Lost

Well hello there my little survivors! To show my love for you this Valentine's Day, I give you this long awaited chapter!

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><p>The Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection<p>

_Chapter 12: L is for Lost_

**Two months, ? days, ? weeks after first Infection**

Milky tears were running down from their respective, single eye. Being crammed into a tiny storeroom with Ryan _and_ a dozen other infected was unenjoyable on its own. Covering Ryan's mouth to prevent him from coughing aloud was tiring, and being face first in his cloud of green smog was positively devastating. Toni felt sure his senses were all slowly dying off, and he'd be a weak, blind, and deaf thing in the end. It was jus as bad on Ryan's end, his chest heaving as he solely breathed through his nose, and Toni could hear the rumbles of trapped wheezes and wet coughs within.

He could hear the same from the other Infected in the room, small noises at the back of their throats. Other than that, they were deathly quiet, not even daring to make any other sounds. They were probably safe, to make noise at least. Leave the building they were in however? Perhaps not. They hadn't heard _it_ in a while, nor felt the accompanying tremors. But that didn't mean _it_ was still out there.

_It_ was the being they all equally feared, Infected and non-Infected alike. The behemoth that shattered the earth with its every step, that could punch through the hardest of things, could send the heaviest of things flying…..It had many names among everyone with enough thought process, but no matter the name, the meaning meant the same. Everyone knew to run and hide when it was near, as it was an unstoppable force that only the best of onslaughts from a warm body's death-sticks could bring down, or if the mighty ones were to team up and bring it down. But since that never happened, here he was with Ryan and some others, hiding like rabbits.

He had no clue as to where his prey and his rival were. Ryan and the Divine had decides to split his rival and him up, less they explode at each other again for the upteenth time since they had arrived in this small town (as the Divine prey had said once). And it had worked, Toni felt considerably more relaxed with just the smoker around. But it was during this separation from the others that they heard it, the rampaging behemoth. Without a second thought, they smashed their way through the nearest door of a building and scrambled into the farthest room possible from the door. Some lesser cousins had followed, and here they all sat, waiting, and listening.

Despite their relative safety, Toni still took the extra precaution of covering the smoker's mouth, less his breathing problems escalate out of fear and stress. Which made this even worse for the both of them. Toni was gonna die of noxious gas and Ryan was gonna suffocate and they were surrounded by mindless idiots. Fantastic.

At some point, it finally became too much, and Ryan pushed him away to hack and gag and wheeze himself into oblivion. He actually toppled over to his side to expel the phlegm from his insides. Toni just rolled away from him to breathe in cleaner air and wipe away the milky mucus running from his eye. Well, perhaps they could come out of hiding now and search for the rest of their pack, surely the big one was far, far away by now and wasn't anywhere-

_THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP_

Part of the ceiling came showering down on a lesser cousin. Ryan's coughs ceased, and the lessers huddled closer together. As his prey would often say in situations like these;

"Fuck the fuckers" Toni muttered, and pulled his hood low over his face. The whole building began to tremble, and all the Infected in the room seemed to freeze, holding their breaths as the behemoth trampled around outside. The earth shattering pounds were accompanied by grunts and growls that resonated in their bones. They waited, and waited, and waited. The behemoth moved along when it could not find something relatively living to smash its meaty fists into, and the trampling eventually faded away. They were safe, for now.

But no telling when they could leave and find the others. Suddenly thinking of _Him_ made Toni growl deep in his throat. _Him_, alone somewhere with the Prey.

**x-X-X-x**

So Tanks were stupid. Not to say that the Tank itself was dumb as a log, but its mere existence was stupid. It just wasn't fair. Who's bright idea was it, to call it Tank? Who's bright fucking idea was it, to have a disease that mutated someone so badly they turned into a wall of moving muscle that destroyed anything it could get its hands on? It was just stupid. Super stupid.

It was the next town over from the one they were in previous that they came along to just from following the highway. The first house they stumbled upon had a saferoom. Not a problem. The saferoom walls were covered in messages. Pretty normal. Half of them talked about the "Tank". Okay, that was weird. Divine kept hoping they were all talking about a military tank. Like some asshole was sitting in a tank and shooting at people. Something like that. And all the new looking potholes in the streets and buildings seemed to imply that.

But there was another saferoom on the western side of the town, and they just so had to go for it. Splitting up didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. It was amazing they came this far without the two Hunters positively exploding at each other and tearing each apart limb from limb. They all had the clear goal in mind to reach the same place, so they split up. Divine with Zachary, and Ryan with Toni. And things were going pretty well..

Then the Tank happened.

And everyone flipped. Other Infected that Divine didn't even know where around were all suddenly bolting- but not for her, but into any place they could to just not be seen. And clearly remembering the last time something like this happened, Divine and Zachary wasted no time in breaking into the nearest building and throwing themselves into the darkest corner they could. Divine wasn't even going to bother with defense, not when it was just her gun and Zachary. Maybe with the others here, they could have stood a chance. But they were all dumbly split up, so no such luck with that.

And now they were trapped, and if they dared try to leave they were most likely going to get crushed by a moving wall of death. The building was literally _shaking_ as the Tank ran past. They could hear its grunts and shouts though the walls, and goddamn it sounded like it was practically on top of them. So they sat, in the dark, huddled in a corner, and waited for the Tank to move on to some other part of the town.

Hopefully Ryan and Toni were safe somewhere, whether it be in the actual saferoom they were going to meet up at, or inside another building. Just so long as they were okay at the end of all this and she could see them again. A loud wail of a Common sounded, and a thundering roar was heard from the Tank. Divine could only assume a poor Infected hadn't ran in time and was unfortunately the receiver of the Tank's never ending rage.

It felt like forever, but the Tank eventually moved on to go be mad at something in a different part of town. Divine finally felt safe enough, to at least move again. She carefully untangled herself from Zachary to slowly creep towards the way they came in. Maybe they could make a break for it while it was elsewhere, and if they just kept moving-

She let out a small yelp when her ankle was suddenly caught, and she was dragged backwards. Zachary immediately shushed her and pulled her back into his arms.

"Dude, what the hell?" Divine hissed at him.

"Not safe. No go" Zachary said simply.

"But it's gone! If we leave now, we can totally avoid it and-" but she's cut off when the Hunter thunks his forehead against hers.

"Noooo" he whispers. "Knows how to quiet too"

What didn't? It seemed like everything knew how to shut up long enough to lull anyone into a false sense of security. Divine inhaled deeply (terrible idea with Zach's terrible zombie breath in her face), and slowly exhaled out of the deep frustration she was feeling.

"How do we leave then?" she asked quietly. "We have to find the others too, ya know"

"We will" Zachary assured her, and after a moment, leaned in more to lick at her face. "We find, I promise"

And he shifted her so she was against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. "Right now? I 'tect you. Keep you safe"

Divine didn't feel any more reassured but she'd take it nonetheless. He got points for trying.

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><p>The alternative title for this chapter is; The Time Zachary and Divine almost did The Thing<p>

Originally they were gonna do, a THING, but….It just ended up not working out in the end.

So you got this instead.

LOVE YOU ALL 3


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